Miss him

[Hunniepie]

Recently split up with my partner of 3 months nearly 3 weeks ago. I miss him but due to his hobby and drinking excessively I ended our relationship. I'm gutted I saw a future with him. To top it off we ended badly. I also spoke to his sister and she confirmed that he'd been lying to me about something I had ask him just before we split.

Just posting for a handhold please. I know it's for the best.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape and he wasn’t really your partner if you had only been with him for three months.
What do you miss about him?

You were only together for three months. That’s barely a relationship, really. You can do much better than this.

I’m sorry you’re feeling it OP, but you absolutely did the right.

At three months, he should have been showing you the best of himself. And you do deserve better. Keep reminding yourself of that.

💐

He’s not a partner after 12 weeks.

After a very short time he showed you how unsuitable he is for you.

You’ll be fine.

@BauhausOfEliott Everyone has to start some where. I know it's not years but I miss him. I've spent a lot of time with him we moved pretty quickly. Leaving someone you don't want to is hard. He treated me well and he made me happy. I spent time with his kids and he met mine.

I just feel so down theres other things going on too he's got depression & ADHD. Possible some undiagnosed bi polar. So it's a lot to process. I just wanted to be with him.

I'm a single parent with no real support network. It's not easy to try and date but people mid 30s have already settled down and had their kids. Life isn't as simple as that.

I understand op
i recently had to end a 2.5 year relationship when i didn’t really want to
i am also a single parent and he was my only local support. I have no one else.
I know it has to end though
i just try to keep busy

Of course you feel a bit sad but 12 weeks is way to soon to have been spending time with each others children. Please go a lot more slowly next time. You don't want your children to meet lots of different boyfriends before you do finally find the right man.

Oh bless you. Sometimes a person can get under your skin, even if you know they’re no good for you.

You’ve made a good call and things will get easier x

He met your kids in under 3 months? Fucking hell op. Work on yourself and your self esteem. You categorically should not be calling someone a partner and having them meet your kids in under 3 months.

12m+ for both IMO

@BelatrixLestrange very rude.

She's 100% correct about your kids

You introduced a stranger who you’d only met a few weeks who you describe as having issues / alcohol prob / ADHD / ‘some undiagnosed bipolar’ to your children????

Pleas don’t date again until you’ve learnt healthy boundaries and worked on attachments. For your children’s’ sakes.

I understand what you are saying. He is not a bad person. He has a good job and earns well. I didn't want to drip feed. He was not a stranger even though we moved quickly.

She’s not being rude!
Youve obviously taken it as being rude because she’s telling you the truth and you don’t like it!
12 weeks is far too soon to be meeting each other’s children and he’s definitely not a partner after only being together in such a short period of time!

@brenda I do not have a support network where I can go 12 months without intrucing a partner to my children. That does not mean because it was the 1st time that I go dates and meet all different men. I do not.

I also have ended the relationship so again no need to be so unkind. I obviously ended things for a reason.

If you don't have ANY support network you won't be able to understand my life and my reasons. Maybe before being so presumptuous think. Do you understand what it's like having NO support network?

3 months is no time at all. You barely know him. I think this is more about you feeling empty and thinking that you’d found someone to plug that gap, than is about him specifically.

@midnightmeltdown its not that I genuinely liked him. Obviously I didnt realise the additional things and the severity at that start. We have spent a lot of time together so ive got to know him well to know that long term we wouldnt work and the reality is a rubbish pill to swallow.

@BelatrixLestrange has a point, though. Absolutely too early to spend time with one another’s children. And look at the man you describe — excessive drinking, significant MH problems, a liar. Is this really someone you want around your children, just because you are desperate for a relationship and have poor self-esteem and low standards? Is this the kind of relationship you want to model for them?

Don’t date again until you’ve done some work on yourself. Surely this isn’t all you think you’re worth?

What is undiagnosed bipolar? Surely it's only bipolar if it's diagnosed?

Did he behave badly and say that he probably has bipolar as an excuse?

Either way, it sounds like he wasn't the one. You made the right decision to end it and give it some time (maybe when the kids are a little older?) you'll meet someone much better

@GreenBlorgle I do not have poor self esteem. Ive not been dating the man for years. People stay in bad relationships for years on end... I left after 3 months.

If I posted I was still with him and I wanted advice on what I should do I could understand your response. That isn't the case here.

I’m not trying to be unpleasant, genuinely, but you spent three months, ‘moving very fast’, and introducing your children to someone with a drinking problem, several significant MH problems, a lying problem, and some hobby problem. That sounds like someone with dangerously low standards.

Yes 3 months I spent with someone. I have not committed a crime here . Sometimes you don't always see things clearly when you are in a situation at the time. I've stood back and I am able to recongnise what some posters have pointed out. Hence me leaving.

Like I said people stay for years in unsuitable relationships for many reasons. People post daily.

You're just in stage 1 of recovery.

1. I miss him so much
2. Were they really that good?
3. WTF was I thinking?