To leave my husband when he has cancer?

[Braindrain22]

H has been financially, emotionally and one time, physically abusive.

He is a pathological liar. I tried to commit suicide and he dropped me off at A &E shouting and screaming at me.
He has lied about our finances, he has texted other women. I really could go on.

He now has cancer and his abuse has ramped up. Shouting, screaming, taking everything out on me. I've had enough, I have always been a SaHm, I have no job, no pension.

But if I leave, imagine ? He manipulates people, including our DC. But I just don't think I can take it anymore. I am spiralling again, my mental health is suffering. But if I leave it will fall to our DC and I can't let that happen. Please.... what should I do?

Your children are adults. They can choose if they want to care for him or not.

He is also an adult and can ask for support from statutory services

Contact womens aid or other DV services.

I doubt you will be the first woman they've helped in this situation.

Could your children put you up? I would definitely go to the council around housing.

You must do what feels right for you now. And tomorrow and then the day after that. Sending you support.

Sending support and healing vibes. You need to protect yourself and your DD. Take it one day at a time. One little thing on your list towards getting out and finding yourself again.

Book yourself on a retreat. Tell them you are burnt out caring for him and let them deal with him for a week or so. When you come back they should be more understanding.

Im not caring for him, he seems fine now and like i said is refusing the operation.

I really wish i could book a retreat, have no money though. I just want to run away to be honest.

Might he die? If so leave but fight divorce/ stay married so you inherit everything.

At the moment everything seems ok. He is going to have some scans in the next few weeks. They cannot be sure if there is cancer cells left so want to do the operation. H is refusing the op.... it's a gamble for him to "watch and wait"

He doesn't have that much life insurance either and I think it is due for renewal so now the price will skyrocket I presume? I have to dig out the paperwork but I can't find the energy to do anything at the moment.

I don’t think life insurance gets renewed either way you have to decide what you want.