Internet dating dilemma

[HeadAboveHeadBelow]

Im 53, out of a long term relationship a few years ago, recently started internet dating.. ive met 2 men at the same time who are both lovely and we are potentially compatible (in different ways).. ive had 2 dates with each of them. i feel like i now need to only go ahead with one of them. I dont find either of them very attractive but it feels so unlikely that id meet someone lovely AND compatible AND attractive, that i feel it would be silly to wait around for that, and maybe attraction can grow if everything else is "right". It feels like a dilemma now as to how to choose between them! A nice position to be in i guess (especially as this comes after a rejection, then a ghosting with the 1st two men i dated through IND!)

Most mature women I know who date, set up a few coffee meetings over a few days and don't decide on The One until they are sure.
There's no need. Both sides accept you can play the field and it's up to you if that includes sex.

The discussion was about men looking attractive at 50+, and these men are commonly considered attractive in their 60s. I was saying that their looks are not typical of the general male population.

Why has my partner lost his teeth? He hasn't lost all of them 😂
Here are a few dental issues people face as they get older: https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/aging-dental-problems - I have receding gums in my lower jaw, probably caused by a mixture of overzealous brushing and an undiagnosed lip tie.
My bf has similar gum issues, like around 3/4 of people aged 60, likely becaus he smokes. As I was just looking for something casual when we first dated, that didn't bother me. He's really enriched my life so I'm glad I overlooked it!

Oh, and I agree 100% about the Roald Dahl quote!

I wouldn’t see the point tbh, someone you aren’t attracted to is a friend imo not a romantic partner.

@HeadAboveHeadBelow I think the most concerning thing here is that you are not attracted to these men, despite saying they are both "lovely." If they are lovely, is that not the most important quality for someone to have?

I agree with this and think it’s one of the many issues with dating apps. That and the fact many people put photos of themselves that are very much out of date by years! Attraction is much more nuanced.

So you would date a ‘lovely’ woman you weren’t attracted to? I doubt it. Don’t you feel bad for the men not being with someone who is attracted to them?

@ForTipsyFinch So you would date a ‘lovely’ woman you weren’t attracted to? I doubt it.

If she was lovely, that would make her attractive.

Don’t you feel bad for the men not being with someone who is attracted to them?

From what I've heard from women, and from what I've seen them write online, most women seem to find most men unattractive regardless.

I don’t find men attractive on OLD. Hence why I can’t find anyone. However, I do think it’s a rubbish way to meet someone and some of these men would probably be more appealing in real life. I was out in a nearby town and recognised a man from Bumble a year or so ago - he looked better in reality than his photos.

I don’t even fancy Tom Cruise or George Clooney 😂.