Could you get past this invasion of privacy?

[NopointinNCbutherweare]

I don't know where to begin with a back story as there's so much water under the bridge. I will add more details if necessary but I'm looking for perspective on this particular issue primarily.

I found out that my DP hacked into my phone and;

Read all of my emails and texts
Went through my pictures
Somehow got on to my mumsnet account and read every thread I've ever made dating back years

Could you get past this? Is there any situation in which you think this would be acceptable?

I feel violated 😔

No. It would be over. Anyone who does not respect boundaries would not be in my life.

Did he suspect you of cheating? As that is a justifiable reason on MN sometimes to go through through a persons phone

I would only understand his behaviour if you were cheating. Otherwise I don't think there is an excuse for it and no I wouldn't/couldn't get past it.

It depends. If you're cheating on him and lying about it then I can understand him wanting proof and closure.

That's not the same though as being paranoid that you're cheating on him with no good reason.

How long have you been together?

how did you find out that he had done this?

what was his justification for doing it? Not that there is any justification for it, just wondered why he thought this was the right thing to do

I see plenty of women on here who have looked at their partner's phones because they suspect he's cheating and on the whole they don't get condemned for it. If you've a previous history of cheating then maybe I could understand your partner looking at your phone? If he's controlling and jealous generally then it's obviously not justified.

Op have you asked him why he felt the need to do this,
Your right to feel the way you do op,

He doesn’t trust you for some reason. You need to dig into that.

Why did he do it? Very odd behaviour, what was he hoping to find? Or was he just feeling really bored!

Absolutely not. The trust is gone. Get rid

For me ots not even about trust in the first instance. It's about the deceit and the entitlement. Of course you cant trust him, but even more, hes intrinsically not a good person.

That would be the end of the relationship for me.

Did he tell you he'd done it or did you find out another way?

Not a chance.

that is so horribly violating. I couldn’t get over that.

He would be out the door immediately.

No. I would never forgive that.

How did you find out he’d done it? I don’t care what he thinks the justification is - I’d never be able to forgive someone for doing this. It would be over for me.

I could never forgive this ,all trust would be gone for me .

No, he is not a safe person and, despite what he might say, he has no respect for you.

Unforgivable

Unforgivable. That is a huge betrayal and invasion of privacy. I wouldn’t be able to trust him ever again.

Has he said why he felt the need to betray you like that?
But no, I wouldn’t forgive that.

No, simply because that’s truly unhinged and I wouldn’t feel safe with someone that nuts.

This would be the end for me, I’m afraid. There’s nothing in my phone I wouldn’t tell my husband if he asked, but if he went into my phone behind my back, I’d never trust him again.

I'd go to the police and block partner and dump him.