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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to cope when your child no longer lives with you

51 replies

PurpleFrogg · 14/10/2025 16:57

How do you cope if your child no longer lives with you? Any Mums in a similar position? I don’t think I will ever get over the fact that my child now only lives with his Dad. How to deal with the terrible grief and sadness? How to accept that this is now your reality? I’m keeping busy, I work, see friends and make the most of when I see my child (once a week for tea, a Saturday afternoon and maybe a hot chocolate after school)

I never thought I’d be in this position, trying to be grateful for when I see DS and enjoy my time with him. Hoping to chat to ex and DS next week about seeing more of him as I feel like the contact is limited.

How do I deal with this? How do I not spiral?

OP posts:
PurpleFrogg · 30/10/2025 09:03

Lightuptheroom · 29/10/2025 10:21

Do not even contemplate going back, it won't fix anything . Really the only way to resolve the current contact arrangements would be for you to apply for a child arrangement order. But, the court process is brutal and given your ds age they will give credence to his wishes and feelings. I feel for you, my ex mil was extremely toxic, and it's only as my ds passed 18 that he realised just how bad it was, he now has no contact with her or his dad. That doesn't help you right now but if you are concerned about her behaviour then I'd contact children's services in your area to discuss what is happening.

Thank you. Sorry you had a difficult time too. It sounds like in these cases they eventually see the truth and it just takes time. I will try mediation, at least sending my ex an invite with the hopes the DS will join too but I’m not holding out much hope. At this stage all I am hoping for is meaningful contact with DS as his sibling is also losing out on maintaining a relationship with him (he hasn’t seen him in 7 days now) also my parents are being pushed out too leaving DS with just MIL and ex monopolising all of his time. I feel so powerless as to what is happening.

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