Would you date someone 5 mins out of a 10 year relationship?

[Cardinalita90]

Just as title says really. Went on a first date last week with someone who finished a 10 year relationship in summer (no kids), I'm looking for something serious and am nervous he could be on the rebound. We got on well but I've been here before with someone else and was proved right so not sure if that's jading me. Thoughts?

The rebound thing is real and it’s seldom a conscious decision.

Also I would be wary of someone who was actively seeking a serious relationship so soon. I would wonder if they were a needy dependent person, someone who wanted to be looked after rather than have an equal relationship.

Thanks everyone! I did send a message saying I'm uncomfortable with how recent his last breakup was and cancelling our next date but he talked me round. Reading your replies though I'm going to.go with my gut and cancel again- there are other red flag niggles too so overall he's not the one for me!

This is my STBXH. This week sending me a message about how he adored me, loves me, all he ever wanted was me. He was back on Tinder within weeks of us splitting. Main reason for the spilt was mistrust on my part (found he had signed up to a dating website a few years ago, accidentally sent me a message for another woman on IG telling her how hot she was). He has to be in a relationship, he has very low self esteem in reality and having a woman boosts this for him. I feel sorry for any new woman who gets roped into his world despite him thinking he is a good guy he really isn't.

Yes. Nice men who like relationships tend to want one quickly after. Women are the ones who (rightly) do lots of work on themselves before dating again. Especially if he ended it, he will have been processing it ending for a long time.
i know in an ideal world he’d go and do therapy etc first and heal, but where are those men I’ve never met one!

Men also don’t often have close bonds with their friends like we do which can buffer the need for a boyfriend

What are the other red flags?

Bit of mansplaining, player vibes ... just didn't trust him for some reason in my gut.

I split with my partner in July this year after 10 years together and immediately wondered if it was him 😂. Highly unlikely, but personally I won’t be dating for at least another year if ever.
I know he was straight into dating sites the minute we split up for good. It’s what he did every time we argued. If it was him I’d say run! 🤣 It sounds like you trusted your gut and made the right choice anyway, best of luck in your dating life. 🍀

Give it a chance

I'm older than you, but I think it goes for all ages, or at least anyone over 25.
You've got to snap them up while you can.