Not sure why????!!!!

[Emmaj90]

Hiya all, first time poster so please be gentle with me !

I'm not sure where to start to be honest, I’m a mid 30s married mum of 3, very happy in all aspects of my life. Loving husband, fantastic kids, enjoying life really.

A few weeks ago I noticed at school a new mum who id not seen before, probably my age she has a little boy in my daughters class so we kind of stand in the same area of the playground at pick up.

I’ve never seen her talk to any of the other mums, she arrives collects her son then leaves, nothing unusual about that I know.

The problem started about a week ago, I was waiting at pick up when I happened to look up and I saw her arrive. She had obviously spent some time getting ready as she looked extremely well presented. She’s usually in normal mum uniform lol messy bun, hoody (like me !) but on this particular day she was wearing a lovely long spotted dress, heals, hair down and wearing a lovely knee length black fur coat she looked amazing.

I couldn’t help myself but stare, she did briefly look at me catching me staring but a lot of the other parents where looking as well.

I couldn’t stop looking at her as discreetly as I could, our kids came out at the same time so we walked back to the car park together, but not “together” if you know what I mean my Daugher and I walked a few paces behind.

Ive never been so intrigued by another women before, but she looked so beautiful it made me feel rather uncomfortable as in I didn’t know how to manage it internally.

As I got my little one into the car, and got ready to leave we did again lock eyes across the car park, she gave me an awkward smile and I kind of waved back. I felt so embarrassed!

Ive seen her every pick up this week, but haven’t plucked up the courage to say hi! the coward I am I know. Yesterday afternoon she arrived again all made up, jeans, boots, shirt and the fur coat again.

I’ll be honest now, please don’t judge but I do have a thing for fur - I’ve not told my husband nor do I have the confidence to buy or wear one so I’m very much embarrassed to even say it out loud.

When I saw her though, my body physically tensed up I’m sure I went bright red as well it certainly felt like it !

I just want to make it clear I’m not a lesbian, I’m heterosexual and I love my husband so so very much.

What should I do ? Do I talk to her? Do I ignore the feelings ? Am I being selfish ? What do I hope to achieve ?

Help me guys please x

Talk to her to take the forbidden fruit thing away a bit and get some fur in the bedroom with your husband, he will be very thankful of a horny wife I’m sure

Also, this sounds like an admiration thing maybe not an attraction thing, she dared to present herself how you might not dare. Tell her you couldn’t help but notice how fab she looked!

Hiya, how do I strike up a conversation with her ? Sorry I’m in my thirties and can’t even talk to another women !!! Pathetic!!!

Ive been scrolling TikTok for a coat similar to hers so I can see where I can buy one, I found a more or less identical one but it’s £3000! I don’t think my husband will go with that unfortunately 🥲
it is a beautiful coat though, so I think maybe you right it’s not an attraction thing, it’s envy of her and her confidence. But even when I’ve seen her since in mum dress she’s stood out for me, I’m so confused.

Just say hi, chat about the weather, make up an excuse (oh I never know what day they have to bring P.E kit or whatever), how's your little one getting on? Does she like the teacher?
Anything really, she'll probably be delighted- it must be nerve wracking to turn up and have no-one to speak to, so I'm sure she'd be glad of the distraction!

I'm assuming the whole point of your thread is a goady post to outrage all decent people who abhor the use of real fur for fashion?

If so you have succeeded in my case.

The fur trade is cruel. Killing beautiful animals for their skins is wrong. And why you should want such a coat , or admire anyone wearing one , is inexplicable.

Thank you, I’m off to school in a bit so if I see her I’ll make up some excuse to speak to her lol

Ill probably end up making myself look stupid but hey ho lol !

OP, maybe it’s admiration/envy, but maybe it’s what’s called bi panic. Maybe you are bisexual and have never let yourself think about it before. Have a google.

If I were you ,next time you see her approach her to say a friendly " hi".
Tell her you love fur; noticed and admired her coat.Tell her you thought she looked great .
Nothing wrong in that.
We should be comfortable to admire and compliment others without feeling self conscious.
She ll likely be made up that you liked her coat and thought she looked lovely.
She makes an effort for a reason.

Hiya, bi panic I’ve never heard of that…..ummm the thought of being with another women isn’t something I’ve thought about to be honest, although I must admit I have thought about her this week, more fantasising about talking to her and her offering me the opportunity to try on her coat lol

I think maybe the two things combined have triggered a little bit of confusion in my mind.

If I were you ,next time you see her approach her to say a friendly " hi".
Tell her you love fur; noticed and admired her coat.Tell her you thought she looked great .
Nothing wrong in that.
We should be comfortable to admire and compliment others without feeling self conscious.
She ll likely be made up that you liked her coat and thought she looked lovely.
She makes an effort for a reason.

Back from school, and I did see her 😊 I was a little tactical in my car parking as well lol

Dropped little one off, then made my way back to the car just as she pulled up. Waited until she came back then just said Hiya when she came back from dropping her little one.

Turns out her son has transferred from another school this year so that’s why I’ve not seen her before.

I did pluck up the courage to say I loved the coat she had on earlier in the week. She did say she felt very conscious that all eyes were on her, but she was going on a date after dropping her little one at her mums after school.

I did feel the need to say I don’t mean to be weird twice ! in an embarrassed mess talking to her, but I did get it out of her that the coat wasn’t real fur, it still looked fantastic either way. She said she’s got a little collection so she’ll wear them more often to school if I like them….i did feel a little embarrassed about that. I hope she didn’t think I was a weirdo ! I think it was said in good humour though so I hope I’m okay.

I sent my husband a link to a lovely faux fur coat I’ve found online at a reasonable price, I’ll see what his reaction is when he picks up the message later.

She’s lovely though, really friendly so hopefully we can keep talking at school at least the ice is broken now.

I bought two incredible faux fur coats in the past 20 years in italy.
One is a shearling type wrap coat, dark chocolate brown, the other a stunning swing fur, with a cowl collar.

I only wear them a few times a year, but each and every time I do, I am stopped and asked multiple times.
At the school PTM, every single teacher mentioned it, they were all very well dressed themselves.

A friend of a friend that I ran into wearing one, just got in touch to ask could she borrow one for her sons NYE wedding as she thinks it would be perfect.
I'm delighted to loan it to her, its only a coat.

Each of mine were a couple of hundred, under 2 I think, so not expensive, on sale, but look amazing.

You need to definitely invest in one. Perhaps ask her advice. It is really nice to hear from other women that you look fabulous, so she will be flattered.

That’s fabulous to hear, I didn’t realise until a few hours ago that there were so many women who liked fur (faux). My husband and I went to Venice in February, it felt like every other women was wearing fur it was fantastic! lol

The coat I’ve seen is probably just below my knee in length with a nice big collar in black, it looks really soft so hopefully my husband will react positively to the idea I suggested to him…..I feel alive to be honest it’s so good to feel like I can talk about it.

I’ve also seen a nice big faux fur throw in John Lewis I might also get to go on our bed.

Im hoping the lady from school (I don’t know her name I forgot to ask!) might wear one of her collection this afternoon to pick up, i definitely be making an effort to look my best this afternoon lol

Funny you should mention fur throws, i have half a dozen really very heavy ones, chocolate brown, black and winter white.
They weigh a tonne, I purchased them in TK 15 years ago. They are on different sofa's and are the last word in warmth and comfort duringbthe winter.
They were expensive at the time but were a great buy.
The heavier the better!

Why have you posted this thread in relationships when it's about your obsession with fur?

I chose to ignore your first comment, but as you’ve posted again I might as well respond.

Im not obsessed about anything, and why is my thread an issue for you ? If you sign like it don’t drop in?

Because I don't understand why you have started a thread primarily about fur and fashion in a topic which is supposed to be about relationships.
I don't see any justification posting photos of fur coats for sale on Tiktok in a thread supposed to be about relationships.
This is the second thread on MN in recent days about fur fashion.

Again why waste your time commenting? I wasn’t aware of a previous thread.

I'm "wasting my time" commenting because I think it's extremely concerning that people are trying to normalise the use of real fur in the fashion industry.
And I think as someone who abhors this cruel trade it's my duty to challenge it.
I think the way you are doing it on this thread is really underhand.

I respect your point of view, there are many things in life object to as well but I keep my view to myself.

If you read the comments I go on to say the lady I spoke to said her coat is faux fur, not real fur.

Either way it’s none of my or your business what someone chooses to wear.

Aww well done OP for braving that out x

Of course the unnecessary cruelty and exploitation of animals is everybody's business.

Okay you’ve made your view known, now please refrain from further comment.

Thanks

Thank you x hopefully she doesn’t think I’m a bumbling fool I wasn’t my best that’s for sure !

I’ll try again at pick up time, I’m on full get my self together mode ready to be the most glamorous mum at the gate this afternoon lol

Wish me luck !!!!

I’m sure she’s very glad of your humanness and your ice breaker, doesn’t sound like many have made her feel that welcome.
Enjoy that FAUX fur boning 😂