How to cope with the guilt of dumping someone.

[CupboardOfDoomFear]

I ended my 3 year relationship very recently, it was absolutely the right decision for me but he was so so upset. I feel incredibly sad and guilty about it. Our financial situations are very different, he moved in to my owned house, and he now has to find somewhere affordable to live on a very tight budget and I just feel so guilty about the consequences of my decision.
There's loads of stuff online about how to get over being dumped which is just making me feel worse as I know how awful he'll be feeling, I remember how I felt when previous relationships ended.
I feel so awful and guilty for what he's going through.
Can anyone give me some advice about how to cope with these feelings?
I've been in therapy for years which is really helpful, and I have great friends and family. But the guilt is eating me up.

@chillychock
No he lived in a damp studio flat.
I feel so much better today, I have spoken to friends and family, and I am even more sure I have done the right thing.
I am even managing to let go of the guilt.
Thank you all again for your replies.

I think we can feel like this when we have learned to feel overly responsible for others feelings. It can be really hard but it might help to write an ‘anchoring’ list which is basically a list of all the reasons you ended it and then soothe yourself through the guilt. Focus on you. Get your support from friends etc.

I am contemplating ending a relationship I’m in. We have very different lives, jobs, living situations, finances etc. and I’m not sure if I should end it but I do feel bad even just thinking about it. So I know it’s hard.

I’ve felt very guilty in the past ending relationships

Hi OP. You’re clearly a very kind, caring and nice person, but there were obviously reasons for you to come to a decision to end things. And as horrible as this sounds, your own happiness should be your priority.
If you’d have stayed with him when deep down you didn’t want to, you would have been equally as or even more unhappy than you are now, because you would have felt resentful and stuck.
Choosing to end a relationship after three years is not easy and is not a decision you just made one day, it’s ok to feel guilty because kind people will, even if they have been mistreated. Just remember that life is too short to stay unhappy because someone else’s feelings were more important to you than your own.
good luck

It would be crueller to head into marriage and children with someone you don't want to be with, just to avoid upsetting them. This is the right time to split. Before vows, before children are involved. Be proud of yourself for having made the right, difficult decision. He will heal and meet someone who wants to be with him.

OP I recently did similar in a similar situation.

I had said the same about savings and he ignored that.

I put pressure on him to get his stuff within 8 weeks. I needed to not be looking at it every day.

I felt terribly guilty until I spotted him on Tinder (went looking because he let something slip) while he was telling me how much he loved me.

You will feel better and he is a grown adult who made his own choices, including to move into your home and make a modest/minimal/limited contribution.