Not sure whether to put this here or in the Sex section, but here goes.
Just met a man in June. I'm 29, he's 38. We've gone on loads of lovely dates, drinks, meals, walks, I've met his family and they really like me. They seem nice.
We started sleeping together end of August. I say sleeping together, but it's never actually happened. I first put it down to nerves or something, then I thought because he had a lodger it was that. The lodger moved out and nothing changed. Basically he can't get an erection. At all.
We have talked about it. He brought it up a couple of weeks ago. Said what he thought it could be and he would get help.
Then I saw something weird over his shoulder while he was Googling something. A whole load of Instagram account names, women's names. I will probably get shot down for doing this, but I looked at his phone while he was asleep. He has a hair fetish and there were hundreds of different Instagram accounts he is looking at and a weird website where he is paying to watch women masturbate with their hair, as well as have men having sex with their long hair, basically. I also noticed that he is looking at this stuff sometimes as soon as I have left his house, sometimes while I am there asleep.
The other morning I got up and saw him looking at his phone with a roll of toilet paper in his hand. I had attempted to initiate sex with him that morning but he said he had to get ready for work.
I have very long hair and have tried to be "sexy" with it, like these Instagram women... who all look like they're very, very young, by the way... but he's not getting hard. If he does even a little but it quickly just goes soft.
Last week I went to his house and there were loads of scrunched up bits of toilet paper full of dried semen. It was the last straw. He's now refusing to talk about it.
Should I leave him? We get on really well in other ways but I can't handle the secretiveness and feeling as if I will never have sex again if I stay with him.