Should I contact him?

[Notsurewhatnext223]

Bumped into a guy I’ve not seen for 10 years. Had a bit of a thing for a few months -soon after ex h and I split up. More a fwb than actual relationship . He wasn’t in the best place at the time and I was quite newly single,
We did briefly message a few years ago - I suggested meeting up but got no reply.
We swapped numbers after bumping into each other this time ( I suggested we could meet sometime) but not heard from him - it’s been 2 days. Should i message him or wait to see if he does?

Are you both single?

if so, yes of course text him, if you want to

You swapped numbers, so therefore there's nothing stopping you from messaging him. If you then don't hear anything further, it's a sign that he's not interested.

@TinkerbellStarbright yes, both single. I’m just thinking he might not want to meet he looked a bit surprised when I suggested it but did then give me his number.

Bump

No I wouldn’t contact him, I’d wait and see if he does

You messaged a few years ago and he didn’t say he wanted to go out with you. You then messaged again 2 days ago and he hasn’t responded. What exactly are you looking for by posting on here? He’s said no twice by not responding. He’s not interested.

Leave it be. He has your number and if he wanted to he’d text. If he doesn’t it shows he’s not interested so save yourself the embarrassment/grief.

He didn't reply to you a few years ago, he seemed surprised when you suggested exchanging numbers this time.

I would not be messaging him.

She didn’t say she messaged 2 days ago, that’s when they exchanged numbers. But, it doesn’t sound like he’s too keen from what OP said so I agree it’s probably best not to contact him.

I wouldn’t personally, I’d say its quite obvious he’s not interested

Sorry that wasn’t clear! He didn’t seen surprised about exchanging numbers - he suggested it after I mentioned the possibility of meeting up.

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I’d message him. Collective wisdom on here is if the guy wants you he will chase you and if he doesn’t he doesn’t want you, but it’s my nature to pursue what’s interesting so instead of being a mind reader or hyper sensitive I’d give it a go. No harm done. Just so I know I tried. I bet most would disagree.

@Subwaystop thdbks! I kind of think I have nothing to to lose really.

Any other thoughts?

Give it a week. If you still want to contact him be prepared he might not reply like before. If you leave it a while he might contact you. No rush.

At 8 in the morning I have no thoughts.

As the kids say, it's not that deep!

He gave you his number, so you are perfectly entitled to message him. We aren't living in Jane Austen's time and your honour won't be permanently besmirched if you take the initiative and make contact with a man you are neither related to nor engaged to be married to!

(Sorry, but I hate all this endless "keep your dignity" sexist stuff. Why should a woman's dignity be any more damaged by messaging a man, than his would be in reverse).

But seriously, you are giving it way too much significance in your life by all this havering about it, posting on here to discuss it etc.

He probably won't reply. But it's worth a shot. Just do it and stop thinking about it.

Good luck!

100% agree with this.

I have several times been told by men that if I hadn't made the first move (messaging them, asking them out, whatever) they wouldn't have contacted me as they would have assumed I wasn't interested. Men can be shy too!

Still stands that, from what you have said, I think in this case sadly he probably won't reply. But what do I know? Just do it to set your mind at rest. It's just a text.

He doesn’t sound that into you.

Doesn’t sound interested tbh

No please don’t! He’s ignored you once, now he has your number yet again, and hasn’t contacted. If you step forward and be the one to contact him yet again then you’ll, at most, bag yourself a relationship with someone with nothing about them. At worst you’ll get ignored again, which frankly he may as well be holding a sign up saying “I’m just not that into you” and dancing about. You do not want a relationship with a man who’s too scared/shy/bullshit whatever to text you and communicate with you, especially after he’s already ignored you once. Let it die!

He doesn't sound overly interested, but I don't think you have anything to lose by messaging? It isn't like you work with him which might make it awkward if you message and he gives you the brush off. If he isn't interested, so what? You haven't seen him in two years so you're unlikely to run into him again anytime soon

Precisely. Go for it. Better to know and have no regrets.

Depends what you want from it. Could work as a fwb thing but if he couldn’t be arsed to reply to your text a few years back I can’t see this turning into a great romance.