GF is pissed and cries over minor things

[OneSharpExpert]

So we have been living together for nearly a year and have been dating for 3 years but at times I feel like my GF just wants an argument. I have no time and energy for arguments, usually when she starts I just ignore her but they are always minor things. She would pull me over not washing a cup even tho in the past I've cleaned her stuff but I dont complain about it, I just wash it and move on. She also cried because one time after sex I went on my phone to check a message, She also cried because I was up until 2 AM in the morning and I just couldnt get to sleep.

She will also peak at my phone while im using it and she will say "jokes" like "I might get another man" or "I might not come back". She will then say that shes only joking but I cant be bothered with mind games.

Also I pay the whole mortgage, I paid the deposite for the house to get us moved in, I also go halfers on the shopping but yet she still manages to be skint. She works 25 hours a week while I do 50+ and for the next two weeks she has no money because she gets paid monthly so Im buying all the food at the moment.

Her parents were very strict and controlling so maybe thats why she is too "emotional" and cries over minor things because she lived a sheltered life but seriously, I cant be bothered with all these silly arguments and "mind games". She will also give me a small punch sometimes which aint sore and I think she is doing it as a joke but then maybe she isnt?

She's lucky that she got the opportunity to move into a house in which she doesnt have to pay for, I have layed the foundations for us to start a family and I know im not perfect but there will always be a roof over our heads and we will never go without food and I will make sure of that

When we first started dating she kept on listening to mummy and she wasnt allowed out after 1 AM, I know if I didnt come along she would never have got the opportunity to move out and she would of been still at home in her 40s with no kids looking after her parents when they get old.

I think she is a bit childless and thats because she grew up sheltered and never got into any arguments or fights so thats why she is emotional and cries over minor problems.

Get rid of her FFS. She’s a draining nightmare diva.

‘Spoiled the after glow’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣

No you don't. You don't like her at all and she isn't your brood mare. If you want to be a loving father to your future kids, don't have them with a woman you don't respect and speak of with no kindness whatsoever. She'll probably be happier with someone else.

Yep.

You say she's 'lucky to get to live in a free house'. Well, she doesn't sound like she feels very lucky does it? Maybe you're not doing her the massive favour you think you are.

Why would you bring innocent children into this shitshow of a relationship?

End it. You both need to grow up before you commit to anyone else.

Nothing will change in the future. I think the relationship is done.

Others have asked but I don't think you've answered...

What specifically do you love about her? What sre her strengths? How does she make your life better?

It doesn't read as though you like her very much.

It reads as though she uses crying as another form of her control. There is no place for game-playing in a healthy relationship. She sounds controlling and manipulative.

I beg you not to bring children in to this. The strongest relationships can struggle when a baby comes into the family. Your relationship is no longer the main event. You have less money. Less sleep. Less rest. Less spare time. Less time for hobbies. For years. Do you think your relationship could weather that storm? Would you both pull your eight equally? Would you both be willing to lose sleep and reduce your socialising significantly, and have less money, and less couple time?

Your idea of being a father sounds idealistic. That, combined with the fact the relationship doesn't sounds good, makes me think you shouldn't be thinking of having children.

(BTW haveing a child doesn't improve a relationship. It may further strenghen, in time, a relationship which was already pretty solid. Otherwise it finds the fault lines and makes them worse).

TBH you both sound awful. She’s crying all the time and threatening to leave and you sound dismissive and condescending.

shit show.

No one HAS to live with their parents. She’s an adult and has a job. she has choices. She doesn’t need you in the way you think she needs you. I find your attitude distasteful. Your view is ‘I provided, I’m happy to provide, but I’m going to moan about providing if you’re not acting exactly as I expect you to, but you should act how I want you to because I provide’. Tbh it sounds like she’d be better off without you and make her own way in the world or with someone who sees her as an equal.

if my husband was annoyed with my attitude he would never, ever, bring into convo that I earn less. A partnership is just that. Finances are only one way to contribute. You can also bring organisation skills, cooking skills, entertaining skills, childcare, family cohesion… so many things.

Think ultimately you know this relationship isn’t right and there is no way to fix how she is, especially after 3 years of the same problems. She sound very insecure and naive and would probably be best if you let her stand on her own two feet instead of looking after her because you want a family.

The language, turn of phrase and tone of your post reeks of contempt for this person.

If this is the way you talk to strangers what must you talk to her like?

This relationship is toxic but you seem equally responsible for the toxicity based on your post.