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Original poster

What are your thoughts on this?

39 replies

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 21:47

I don't want to give too many details. I just wondered what your thoughts would be on this exchange.

Her: Oh I'm not sure I have anything suitable to wear.

Him: Why don't you wear that dress you wore before. You looked really good in that

Her: Dress I wore before?

Him: Yes. That black dress you wore for (some details were given but I'm not including them here). You looked really good in it.

Her: I remember! Wow, I can't believe you remembered that. It was nearly three years ago!

Him: Well, you looked really good in it.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 04/10/2025 21:48

Erm I don't think I'd think much of it

Am I supposed to?

QuirkyHorse · 04/10/2025 21:48

He remembered a nice dress.
He has a good memory and knows what he likes.

What have you taken from it?

Original poster
HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 21:50

QuirkyHorse · 04/10/2025 21:48

He remembered a nice dress.
He has a good memory and knows what he likes.

What have you taken from it?

Well, I'm hoping it's just that.

OP posts:
ChaChaChaChanges · 04/10/2025 21:51

Honestly, no idea what you’re looking for here. Seems pretty benign.

Original poster
HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 21:52

That's OK then. Thank you.

OP posts:
ChaChaChaChanges · 04/10/2025 21:52

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 21:50

Well, I'm hoping it's just that.

Show quote history

What else could it be?

therewasafishinthepercolator · 04/10/2025 21:52

Well, if I was the woman in question there's very little chance the very nice black dress would still fit three years on so I'd think it was a sweet but unhelpful suggestion. Other than that I wouldn't think much of it.

Original poster
HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:02

It was an exchange between my husband and a friend of his. I wasn't sure if it was something I should be worried about.

OP posts:
LochSunart · 04/10/2025 22:05

He pays attention!

Marry him.

Absentosaur · 04/10/2025 22:06

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:02

It was an exchange between my husband and a friend of his. I wasn't sure if it was something I should be worried about.

Female or male friend? Either way he fancies them.

RealEagle · 04/10/2025 22:10

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:02

It was an exchange between my husband and a friend of his. I wasn't sure if it was something I should be worried about.

Was these messages on his phone ?

LochSunart · 04/10/2025 22:13

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:02

It was an exchange between my husband and a friend of his. I wasn't sure if it was something I should be worried about.

"He pays attention!"

Unlike me, clearly. In my defence, I am in the pub.

Original poster
HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:15

Absentosaur · 04/10/2025 22:06

Female or male friend? Either way he fancies them.

Show quote history

Female. Hence the Him/Her in my post.

OP posts:
LochSunart · 04/10/2025 22:20

I have female friends I could conceivably say this to, without any inappropriate connotations at all, and my wife wouldn't mind either. Having said that, I've known these women 40 years and I'm late 50s, which probably makes a difference. Much more context needed.

Original poster
HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:21

RealEagle · 04/10/2025 22:10

Was these messages on his phone ?

Show quote history

No.

We were out with a group of friends. I wasn't part of the conversation and I don't think they realised I could hear. They were talking to each other and I was standing near enough to hear but not with them.

OP posts:
Absentosaur · 04/10/2025 22:28

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:15

Female. Hence the Him/Her in my post.

Show quote history

Yes sorry. That was pretty obvious. 🫣

Anyway yes. I’d hate that and he fancies her. Probably she fancies him too, or she was at least flirting anyway.

Thistooshallpass. · 04/10/2025 22:32

Slightly misleading way of posting it - if it was an exchange in your relationship then great he pays attention. . …. But in the context you’ve just divulged that you overheard your partner in this exchange- very different !
why another woman is asking your DP about what they should wear is odd in itself , the fact he cares and remembers what she wore years ago again odd . I’d be investigating further ..

RealEagle · 04/10/2025 22:37

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:21

No.

We were out with a group of friends. I wasn't part of the conversation and I don't think they realised I could hear. They were talking to each other and I was standing near enough to hear but not with them.

Show quote history

Deffo be on your guard overhearing that conversation.

Original poster
HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 23:04

Thistooshallpass. · 04/10/2025 22:32

Slightly misleading way of posting it - if it was an exchange in your relationship then great he pays attention. . …. But in the context you’ve just divulged that you overheard your partner in this exchange- very different !
why another woman is asking your DP about what they should wear is odd in itself , the fact he cares and remembers what she wore years ago again odd . I’d be investigating further ..

I just feel a bit uncomfortable about it all.

She didn't ask him. Just said she didn't have anything suitable to wear. She didn't sound like she was flirting. Maybe that's wishful thinking though.

I don't know.what to think.

Thank you for the replies.

OP posts:
ChamelalaBingBong · 04/10/2025 23:10

Hrtft

Context is everything. Is this a husband and wife? Father and daughter? Work colleagues? Person and affair partner?

Bringitonicancope · 04/10/2025 23:59

Your post originally made it sound as though it was an exchange between a woman and her partner.

So your revelation that the exchange was between your H and his female friend still makes it sound as though it was between a woman and her partner. They obviously share an intimate and close relationship.

I'm sorry OP but I think their relationship is much more than friendship.

Lovelamps · 05/10/2025 00:06

I don't think this is that much of a big deal tbh. Context is everything. Was it a big event that involve wearing something a bit different like a wedding or a ball or something?
If so it is the type of thing people might remember what others wore. It's the sort of conversation I could imagine would take place between my good friend and my husband (completely innocent exchange) or myself and BIL for example. Unless there are other issues causing concern I'd just forget it.

middleagebumpyroad · 05/10/2025 00:07

I thought it www ok as I thought this convo was between the you and your DH. This conversation is not ok now that’s it was between your DH and another woman.

Crikeyalmighty · 05/10/2025 00:43

Sorry but I would be uncomfortable with my H remembering several years back what someone wore and enough to be commenting on it .

ThreePears · 05/10/2025 00:46

HmmSoWhatDoYouThink · 04/10/2025 22:02

It was an exchange between my husband and a friend of his. I wasn't sure if it was something I should be worried about.

Well that throws a whole new light on the situation, doesn't it?

I wouldn't be wanting my DH to be remembering an LBD some other woman wore three years ago.