Page 2 | No contact 30 days. Done. Still feel like absolute rubbish

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 2025-10-01T22:57:20+00:00

So I've done my 30 days (over 30 days now) no contact after my ex ended it. His choice to end it after 16 months together. I've reflected on the relationship and ultimately he treated me pretty poorly, his communication was awful, very avoidant, alot of emotionally manipulative stuff and gaslighting - he ended it due to me asking basically for bare minimum (communication, time together and to make me feel like I was important to him - not just forget plans and not turn up unless I reminded him - yes really) and overall I've done pretty well, still feel rubbish about it at times and can't stop going over little things in my head....but he ended it and he told me to leave him alone - so I have... Around day 23 onwards and at random other days of no contact he started posting whatsapp statuses, picture meem type pictures with words along the lines of "it hurts when you have someone in your heart but you can't have them in your arms " and " just because I let you go doesn't mean I wanted too" basically sad break up quotes.... there have been 6 in total... all soppy sad break up quotes implying he misses me thinking of me and loves me - I just wanted to get opinions on what the hell is his game here? I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me insane - I didn't react and didn't break no contact I remained silent - but why? Why would he post these? What do you guys think?

NorthernLass2025 · 02/10/2025 00:49

Don't get why supposedly blocking is giving him attention. The other person doesn't even know they got blocked. Keeping him in a folder isn't eradicating the problem and reading his statuses shows him your giving him attention because you can still see who is reading those even when you turn of the don't see tick notifications on status you always see who reads

Cinaferna · 02/10/2025 00:54

I think he's a lazy spineless toad. He's found some cheesy memes online and is posting them to reel you in. How about making an effort to use his own words to describe you - a real, unique person, not a generic meme, to explain how he really feels? He hasn't done that because he can't be bothered or hasn't the emotional intelligence. Very unsexy either way.

Raise your game, OP. If you see those memes - think to yourself: what a cliché. How unoriginal and lazy to think some zero effort generic meme will have me rushing back to him. No. You asked for respect and got dumped. He's pathetic. You are not. Move on and up. Way way up.

Agapornis · 02/10/2025 00:57

Congratulations on being single! Now don't date a twat for that long again.
It's not no contact if you're checking his status and profile photo. Delete his number, you don't have to block it, then you won't get the updates. If you must count, count in weeks, or months.

What are you doing with your newly liberated time? You sound young - go have fun! Meet up with friends, learn something, join a club, do all the things you fancy.

UpDownAllAround1 · 02/10/2025 03:14

You cant control what he does or what he is thinking. Block block block…

DrowningInSyrup · 02/10/2025 03:30

Archive him. We'll done on the NC very strong of you.

Puzzledtoday · 02/10/2025 03:45

He sounds horrible. Block him now OP, you’ll get over this quicker if you don’t see anything from him.

AmusedOpalShaker · 02/10/2025 04:18

Because he’s a massive twunt.

Waste no more brain space.

x

BadActingParsley · 02/10/2025 07:08

Block him, he’s not found it easy to get someone new so is dangling his wares out there. What king of weirdo does that. Start to fives him as a bit odd as he’s definitely in that category. Spend time with friends or doing new things. He’s a bit of a curiosity in your past that’s all.

User2025meow · 02/10/2025 07:18

He broke up with you because you were asking for what you deserve (normal things in a relationship) and he didn’t want to give it to you. He wanted things on his terms with more freedom for him, no accountability etc. I agree with a previous poster in that he might have been surprised you agreed no contact and didn’t beg to stay together. It could be that him “breaking up” with you was him training you to accept less from him if he could. Block and move on. This may now be some attempt to reel you back in with but with no real improvements. Even if you got back together and he improved “a bit”, the fact that he treated you poorly at the beginning shows his character and wouldn’t bode well for the future.

Worried198423 · 02/10/2025 07:23

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 00:14

Probably should of said

blocking is a weird thing for me it's triggering for weird reasons so I haven't made this step yet... I probably should 100% do that and I'm getting to that stage
he, as long as I've known him, has never posted a status (not one for me to see anyway) or changed his profile pic ever
since he ended it and I went no contact, everytime I've changed my profile picture - twice, he's changed his not long after....

It just makes me wonder why on earth would he post that stuff? HE left ME - makes me feel so weird and like what the hell

He's doing it to get in your head,ans it's working.
Block him.
Only way you'll move forward, it's thr I don't want you but nobody else can troupe.

Original poster

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 07:32

Thank you for all your posts and support. I needed it!

In my new found freedom, I found no freedom as I have kids and no support haha but I've just been analyzing my choice to stay and how crap I've been treated and working out how I'm going to improve this sort off stuff in the future....

Your all right. And I've done it. I've blocked him!

I've actually done it.... chat deleted.... blocked.

Now I just need to not wobble and unblock!!!!

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Original poster

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 08:02

NorthernLass2025 · 02/10/2025 00:49

Don't get why supposedly blocking is giving him attention. The other person doesn't even know they got blocked. Keeping him in a folder isn't eradicating the problem and reading his statuses shows him your giving him attention because you can still see who is reading those even when you turn of the don't see tick notifications on status you always see who reads

They can. Your profile pic vanishes and they can't send messages that go through so only 1 tick so they do know if they are watching someone on wa

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ChristmasFluff · 02/10/2025 08:15

Excellent that you have blocked him - you are now, finally, No Contact.

You have previously been 'No Response' and that doesn't break the addiction to a person. It's like living with your drug dealer and occasionally letting him give you a teeny drug hit. Your head is still focussing on the drug and when you might get it.

No Contact means blocking him everywhere, and also dealing with your brain so that you train yourself not to dwell on him.

Whenever you find your thoughts wandering to him, do something else. Go for a walk, clean the house, cut the lawn, watch a horror movie, do some exercise, phone a friend - anything. No contact is mental as well as physical.

30 days from now the cravings will have eased. After 90 days you will feel quite different - like life is beginning again.

Brightbluesomething · 02/10/2025 08:48

Well done on getting this far and not caving in to his manipulation. He sounds like an absolute twat.

My ex used to like manipulating me and also his previous ex via WhatsApp profile changes and statuses. It’s cruel and childish and generally because they’re unable to communicate like an adult. So they throw you something to try and reel you back in. Archiving worked for me. Please remember to block on text too, not just in WhatsApp or he’ll still have the ability to contact you.

You may think you’ve wasted 16 months but you’ve actually got out a lot earlier than some. Women stay for much longer with these losers, so well done. Focus on healing and decide what you want your life to look like now.

Lifeisforliving2025 · 02/10/2025 08:51

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 00:05

I don't really block anyone as never really had too and it feels like a big step I know that sounds pathetic....

Show quote history

You don't need to block him, just remove his contact from your phone then you won't see any status changes.

BlissfullyBlue · 02/10/2025 08:54

You aren’t no contact until you’ve blocked him / his status messages. You haven’t really done 30 days because he is still communicating with you and manipulating you. You really do need to draw a line under that otherwise it will make it harder to move on.

BlissfullyBlue · 02/10/2025 08:54

Deleted for duplication

Endofyear · 02/10/2025 10:00

Honestly, his posting that kind of crap is embarrassing 😳 just block him so you don't have to see it. He sounds like a waste of space. Put him out of your mind and get on with your life!

Personperson · 02/10/2025 11:16

If he really wanted you back, you'd know.

When a man wants something nothing stops them.

What is happening here is mind games. He wants attention and he probably thinks he can get them from you he can see you've viewed them and is getting a kick from that.

Do one better. Block him on WhatsApp or at least don't give him the satisfaction of watching his stories. It's just a method to reel you in, to play with you.

Don't engage and don't watch anymore.

ConstitutionHill · 02/10/2025 13:07

fashionqueen0123 · 01/10/2025 23:59

It sounds like you made the right decision.

What kind of weirdo posts statuses like that on WhatsApp.

This. Those sort of vague, pseudo-cryptic, naff quotes give me the instant "ick".

Lurkingandlearning · 02/10/2025 13:24

If he did actually regret his decision he would have told you. A genuine person would do that.

Chances are they were bait and had you contacted him he would have made humiliated you by saying he wasn’t referring to you.

Or as a PP said he would have drawn you back in, been nice for a week or so and then reverted to treating you badly. It’s a game for people like him and part of that game is to see how dependent they can make you. The more someone forgives and returns to the relationship the more dependent they become and it gets much harder to finally end it. I think that comes partly from sunk cost fallacy and partly from adapting to lower and lower standards. It can be quite subtle and the brightest of us can be taken in by it.

I’m glad you’ve blocked him. It sounds like you won’t be fooled by him again. I hope so because people like that behave worse and worse for as long as you allow them to

Cartwrightandson · 02/10/2025 13:33

The freedom program book.

Free pdf

https://freedomprogramme.co.uk/docs/fp.pdf

He's a dominating bully op

Original poster

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 13:47

BlissfullyBlue · 02/10/2025 08:54

You aren’t no contact until you’ve blocked him / his status messages. You haven’t really done 30 days because he is still communicating with you and manipulating you. You really do need to draw a line under that otherwise it will make it harder to move on.

OK so no contact Part 2 starts today then....

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Original poster

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 13:48

Lurkingandlearning · 02/10/2025 13:24

If he did actually regret his decision he would have told you. A genuine person would do that.

Chances are they were bait and had you contacted him he would have made humiliated you by saying he wasn’t referring to you.

Or as a PP said he would have drawn you back in, been nice for a week or so and then reverted to treating you badly. It’s a game for people like him and part of that game is to see how dependent they can make you. The more someone forgives and returns to the relationship the more dependent they become and it gets much harder to finally end it. I think that comes partly from sunk cost fallacy and partly from adapting to lower and lower standards. It can be quite subtle and the brightest of us can be taken in by it.

I’m glad you’ve blocked him. It sounds like you won’t be fooled by him again. I hope so because people like that behave worse and worse for as long as you allow them to

I agree and I do think maybe he was trying to draw me in again head fuck me and silent treatment me as and when he chose as he did before

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Original poster

Xoxoherewegoagain01 · 02/10/2025 13:49

Brightbluesomething · 02/10/2025 08:48

Well done on getting this far and not caving in to his manipulation. He sounds like an absolute twat.

My ex used to like manipulating me and also his previous ex via WhatsApp profile changes and statuses. It’s cruel and childish and generally because they’re unable to communicate like an adult. So they throw you something to try and reel you back in. Archiving worked for me. Please remember to block on text too, not just in WhatsApp or he’ll still have the ability to contact you.

You may think you’ve wasted 16 months but you’ve actually got out a lot earlier than some. Women stay for much longer with these losers, so well done. Focus on healing and decide what you want your life to look like now.

So sorry this happened to you....I agree with everything you've said also....thank you...now to remain strong and keep him blocked!

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