We are that couple now.
We came close to ending not so long back and bounced back.
Over 20 years together. 11 married and two kids both at school.
We did not have that affection anymore and that was part of the problem. Neither of us felt wanted.
There was a lot more to it than that.
But the affection is a big thing. Now my wife kisses the back of my neck when she sneaks up behind me. I slide my arms round her waist whenever I can and pull her close.
We kiss every day.
It took a lot of conversations. Those really hard honest ones where you dont know if it is the end or not so you may as well just lay it all out.
It took a counselor and a couples app too.
But most of all it took us realising what we had lost along the way and that we both wanted the same things from each other. That spark, the fun, the showing each other through actions that you want them. The realisation that there is more available if we just took our heads out of our own arses and saw what the other needs. That even boring things like doing the dishwasher can be fun. We throw things to each other while cleaning. We talk while we both hang out the washing.
We talk about our days and listen to each other.
The kids picked up on it and their happiness has improved too. Not that they were unhappy. But just the fun of making packed lunches when we are all involved makes mornings brighter.
We weren't that couple for a long long time. We would look at those couples and think BS. Thats obviously fake. We did have fun but there was never this level of closeness there. Not scince we became "responsible adults" with kids, mortgage, bills, work, schools, chores and everything else that comes with growing up. Now we're in our 40s and it took that long to realise we never had to grow all the way up. We can have fun with any task needed. We both like to be wanted and we both like random physical affection. We both love to be silly. Our kids both love the smiles, seeing us hug, joining in and the general chaos that comes when you realise those couples can be real if you let the guards down and admit what you want and that its good to smile.
The kids even willingly join in with housework because they don't want to miss out on the fun.
Its obviously not like that everyday. There are days when we just make a packed lunch. Or when the washing just needs to be hung out while the other helps with homework. There are days that wear us down and its tough not to just get on with a task so its done and you can sit.
there are days when nothing goes right and the last thing we want is to smile.
But even on those days. Where we may not make everything fun. We do still pull each other close or hold hands whilst we walk the dog. And nothing will stop a kiss.
But now there are more days where we smile and laugh and just love being us.
In the immortal words of Tankus The Henge. "Smilling makes the day go quicker,
Life begins to turn around,
Upside down comes round again,
Here's that crazy chaos you call home"