How to catch a cheating partner

[NotSureWhereToGoForHelp]

I suspect my DH has been cheating with a colleague for the last few years. I’ve called him out multiple times and he’s always had a ‘answer’ for whatever ‘evidence’ I’ve thrown at him. It’s a million small things, that, individually, could be easily dismissed, but it all feels like it’s just piling up.

Does anyone have any practical advice for catching a cheating partner? I have no access to his phone or computer (he always claims they have to be extra secure because they are for work). He’s much more tech savvy than me, so I’m not really sure what I can do. Are trackers a realistic option or can they been traced? I did know where the woman lived, but I’m starting to suspect she may have moved recently.

Any advice would be great. I’m not in a position to leave, so please don’t just jump on that bandwagon.

If you aren’t in a position to leave, why bother trying to find out?

You already know what’s going on, and, he’s always going to deny it. His behaviour is making you unhappy, regardless.

If you have spent the last few years suspecting he is cheating then it must have been a pretty unhappy few years living with suspicion and distrust. You think he is a liar.
Do you really need proof? Surely your relationship is dead in the water anyway ?

What will it benefit you to have your suspicions confirmed? Either you trust him or you don’t. You obviously don’t trust him, so you need to think about what you want to do next. Do you want to work on the relationship, or do you want to split up?

What's the position you're in that prevents you from leaving him?

Private investigator? If you're not in a position to leave, what do you envisage happening if you do find out he's cheating?

Why bother if leaving isn’t an option?

I'm inclined to agree with others - what's the point in finding out for certain? What would you do with that information, and how would it improve your life?

Sorry op, I agree with others. If you aren’t going to leave, why bother to try and find out? You don’t need firm proof to leave, you can end the relationship for any reason, but you’re not going to even with proof apparently, so going to any effort seems unnecessary. Yes, you could get a private investigator, or put a tracker in his car, etc, but it sounds a lot of money and effort for nothing. So you get proof he’s cheating, then what?

You’d be wasting your time because he should like the type who would call you a liar even if you were waving the evidence in front of him. Time for a big think for you, I suppose. You don’t seem happy at all in your life.

You don't need an expensive PI just put a tracker in his car. Where the car goes, he goes.

I caught my husband as I put my Apple watch on voice record chucked it under a bag and went out for 2 hours

picked up the phone to her the second I was out

was class as he couldn't back out of it

nearly 2 years separated and nearly divorced and that Apple watch was the best thing he could've ever bought me!

Yes tracker and if it's an odd place travel there yourself

Why bother if you can't leave.
Spend your time and effort trying to figure that out instead.

If my partner was confronted by me worrying he had cheated, he would immediately give me his phone to set my mind at ease, he'd be worried sick that he'd done something to make me feel that way.

The fact that he hasn't, is your proof.

Your partner's a jerk. What does it matter if he's also a cheating jerk.

Don't waste time and money on this nonsense. Focus on leaving.

So many ‘why bother’s.

I’m sure it bloody well matters that OP has the truth about her life and her marriage.

I don't think it's very helpful to ask @NotSureWhereToGoForHelp what's the point if you're not going to leave. I think the big question is, what are you going to do with the information if you find out that you're right? Are you going to challenge him with irrefutable proof and how would that play out? What do you actually want the end result to be? If the answer to that is you want him to give up an affair and be a faithful husband to you, how realistic is that likely to be?

It might be a case of be careful what you wish for if you want to maintain any kind of relationship and the status quo of the homelife you currently have.

She already knows the marriage is doomed, as we do, by the way she describes it. Actually proving that her DH is cheating may not be practical, and using a tracker on him would be illegal.

You achieve nothing by getting proof of him cheating, other than leading an even more miserable life if you have no intention of splitting up with him!

Apple air tag under the seat of his car?

Put a phone on record and put it on top of a cupboard

Unlawful without his permission. Also, the AirTag will send alerts to his phone to warn of its presence.

Well I was going out and wanted my phone but yes that would also work too

So what?? Track the cheating cunt

Totally disagree.

I spend months thinking I was crazy, going insane.
it brought me clarity and closure, and a bit of self validation.

Would you say the same to a man who suspected his wife of cheating, and wanted to track her every move without telling her?

Rather than use your phone for recording....A voice activated dictaphone ... would mean you don't lose use of phone and ir won't ring and give you away etc.