Am I being paranoid

[MoodyBlues1]

So there is a single woman who has started to socialise with us as a group. When I first met her she would blank me and only talk to my partner, eventually she started to talk to me, so I let it slide. In the past few weeks she seems to be paying a lot attention to him. She turned up my house for partners birthday bash, I had no idea he had invited her. He has agreed to work at her house ( payed of course) last week he was at hers for 2 hours, to fix something, and I didn't say anything.

Anyway fast forward this weekend and we are at dinner party and a mutual friend told me that this woman has been coming to her house frequently whilst my partner working on her house. That she had brought pasties down. She told me quite a lot and a couple of people were in on the conversation and saw I was upset. Partner left and I stayed at my friends as did not want to talk about this after a few drinks.
When I got home yesterday morning we ended up having a huge row and I told him what I had been told. He went absolutely mental and the row was not good and we both said stupid things. He then went to the friends house to confront her and came back to say she had not said anything. Which I know is a lie.

This all feels wrong and I don't think it is physical but I needed assurance nothing was going on but he didn't, he now working at hers all week, even though I asked him not to.. He has moved out and said will not come back unitl I apologise. He is calling me paranoid and jealous and controlling. Am I? I really am not thinking straight. Some thoughts please.

I will, hopefully he will keep his word and he will be is civilised. Appreciate it is going to very difficult to find somewhere with the amount of stuff and cats, but at this stage it's not my problem. But don't want to be cruel

Focus on yourself not him.

Well update. He has gone taken caravan and trailers. Said he has rented a place and will be moving in on the 12th Oct and will take the rest of his stuff I m happy with this.

That's good @MoodyBlues1 . Hopefully he'll leave you in peace to heal and start living your better life but don't be surprised if he raises his ugly head again at some point, when he's between new and exciting women. Don't be fooled by any sob or otherwise stories.

Good luck to you

So another update. He has been taking his stuff over the past few weeks I am really getting fed up as I just want lock up and never see him again. I have given him till Sunday and he feels I am being unreasonable. He also sent me a nasty text last night out of the blue, accusing me of slander and bad mouthing him , it's all a big lie I have been busy with work redecorating, I have not been out. Unlike him who has been down the every night getting drunk with his new friend. Sorry just a rant.

Op keep strong keep to your plan for Sunday, don't reply to his nasty txt he's playing games with you, only grey rock ,
After Sunday if he has left anything put it out side txt him then block him,

Gosh I feel for you OP.
He really is drawing this out isn't he?
Keep strong in your resolve and hopefully then you can get on with your life without this waste of space.

Keep the nasty text and be prepared to go to the police.
Text him that anything he doesn't take on Sunday will be put outside the house.
Have people in the house with you when he turns up.
Get a video bell if you don't have one.
This is not a good man.
Do not trust him.
Change the locks or keep keys in doirs and a door chain.

Re the slander, maybes he's on mumsnet! Lol

You will feel so so much better in a few months.

So Sunday has come and gone and he has not taken a thing. The out building ifs still full of his stuff. It's been a month since the split and he feels I am being unreasonable not allowing him to store his things here, as he has been "so busy". I have told him that I am going to lock everything up and when I return he can collect his things. I have also told him that if he steps one foot on my property I will have him arrested. I am so done with his pathetic mind games

Well done, OP. I agree with getting a camera (or a few). Tapo do motion activated ones, with no subscriptions, and always reduced on Amazon. You'll be able to see if he's trespassing while you're away!

Camera's have been done this weekend. I hate how he is still trying to bully and control me. Funny how he called me a bully yesterday when I said he needs to take his stuff.

He's scum.
Log your difficulties with the police and that you have warned him not to enter YOUR property.

I know he is a terrible person. I have found out he has stolen some of my things, not because he needs it but just to make my life difficult. Why of why have I wasted so many years with this individual.

I know, I know ... All you can really do is treat it as a valuable lesson on your weak spots, put some bloody good boundaries in place, and enjoy a happy love affair with yourself for a while.

Consider reporting him to the police.
It will help the next woman he screws over.
Ask the police to help recover your stuff.
I'm so sorry.

Update, So I made it back to the UK and I am safe and well. He is still messaging me demanding his belongings which I have been asking him to take for weeks. He is now saying he will be seeking legal action and calling the police. What a very strange man.

He is indeed a strange one! Let's hope he does call the police, they'll tell him to get his stuff.

How was your trip? I do hope you're back with a clear head and a sense of freedom.

Tell him to contact the police and not to contact you again.
His stuff should be outside your house.
Who cares if it is stolen.
He is scum.

Have no idea why he thinks he has the right to keep his crap at mine and then turn it around saying I am stopping him getting everything, have given him every chance over past 7 weeks. I think you are right about the police.
My trip took 2 days but yes back and enjoying a stress free life. As and when I need to go back and sort things and anything he has left will be disposed of.