What’s it called?

[BB333]

In this world of phrases like gas lighting etc. I was wondering if there is a phrase to explain this type of behaviour- (apart from d*k h*d)

you’re listening to the radio in the car, a song you love comes on, you say “oo I love this song” they then immediately turn down/off the radio so that they can call their mum. Something which they’ve had all day to do.

you finally sit down for the day. The other person is busy. So you sit down to watch a programme that you like, but they hate. As soon as you do they decide they’re not busy anymore and want to sit and watch tv, but only something they want to watch.

any suggestions on how to label the above?

Controlling?
Toddler-esque?
Dickhead?

Selfish?

Entitled?

Single??

Spiteful

Controlling
Saboteur
Someone who hates you.

Pathetic
Time-wasting
Of no use
Childish
Insecure
Twattish
(I could go on...)

Twat?

Sabotage.

It's common in abusive relationships. They will sabotage a day out, your birthday, your favourite song. It's about control and feeling that they are more important than you. They get a wee thrill out of your disappointment.

It's called Being A Cunt.

Contrary.

If you said the sky was blue - they are forever poised to spring in to action to tell you its green or just disagree with everything you do or say.

Hes not your friend.

I don't know if it has a name but it's... malignant. It's also something that imo only narcissist and similar do.

Narcissist (npd) do not want you to be happy. So they do things to annoy, frastrate, exhaust and steal joy.

Get far away from anyone who does this. They hate you and they mean you harm. Make no excuses.

Too emotionally immature to have a relationship with.

He’s marking his territory, showing that he’s more powerful than you, that what you want doesn’t matter.

He is fatally selfish and not the sort you will have a good relationship with. He won’t leave you space to be you and will drain the life out of you. He will take your laughter and your smile. He will make you live a small life. If you complain, he won’t understand what’s wrong with you and reel off all the things he does that are good and why you’re so wrong.

You don’t need to know what the official name for it is, you just need to walk away. He will not improve. He will not believe he is in wrong.

Or he’s just a mahoosive dickhead!

It's called 'dump this arsehole right now' behaviour.

Ps: other example narc behaviour that is similar includes, cancelling things at the last minute like trips together you were looking forwards to (or creating drama so you can't go).

Belittling things you enjoy.

Disturbing your sleep deliberately.

Regular backhanded compliments.

Ruining your holidays, hobbies or time away from them (eg you go out with friends and all of a sudden they start texting obsessively).

Talking complimentarily about other women but never you. So the void where their kind words for you should be is so noticiable and painful.

Comparing you with other women making you feel 'not enough'

Saying hurtful things then telling you you can't take a joke/are overreacting or too sensitive.

All red flags you're probably dealing with someone with a cluster b personality.

If it's a partner then you got The Ick.

Yep ! No fancy title required !

Dickery.

@DelightedDelicious I had a contrary little c**t once, used to catch him out all the time, as I would remember what he’d disagreed about and then offer the opposite a couple of weeks later, he’d disagree every time. In the end I just hated the sight of him.

Actually you could even simplify: evil.

Because ok, good people are flawed, no one is perfect. But they don't tend to engage in behaviours of a malignant nature on any kind of regular basis. That is to say, behaviours geared to hurt, distress or frustrate others. Even when they hate these people they usually just, leave.

But ...evil people, delight in hurting others. Just remember school bullies. Some might have changed, yes, but most are the same monsters, just better at hiding it...unless you have the misfortune of being close to them.

My father used to wait until my mother was comfortable reading a book or watching a film, then go and ask her to make him a drink or a snack that he was perfectly capable of making himself, and then throw a screaming fit if she didn't look happy enough while doing it.

Don't be my father, obviously, but don't be my mother either.

Cunt?

Unattractive? Guaranteed to make me not want to shag him? Something I simply don’t want in my life? Take your pick.

I don't know what the term is, but selfish, inconsiderate, a fear of loss of autonomy.

It leaves you unsettled and confused - and self doubting - believing every opinion you have is wrong.

Mine was a close ‘friend’ - who undermined everything I said in a group setting - but not other people.

Once you see that you can’t unsee the ‘frienemy’ - it achieved her aim of silencing me as I refused to be goaded into one of her nonsensical discussions where the aim is to bury you.

I just left that group and then all hell broke loose as she didn’t have her punch bag.

Very undermining experience. Every barb is calculated to be just below the belt that if you called it out you would look like a loon - but it’s the repeated compounding snipes and attacks that progressively cut deep.

What position are you in with this character? Shared home / children? What will it take to disentangle yourself @BB333 ?

Whats the relationship like with his mother? Some men despise their mothers but can’t express it so subconsciously take it out on their partner as a proxy.

Sabotage.

Do you have DC together and do you own a property together, if no dump them. If you do share those things you can still leave the relationship