Husband wants 50/50 custody

[doubleorquitz]

Please help me. I feel so low. I am divorcing and despite being there for my children daily since birth my husband is going to fight for 50/50 custody.

I need some reassurance. I do work but it fits around the kids, I do 9 out of 10 school runs and am at home for every school holiday.

He works a sporadic routine, in various locations, leaving the country at least once a month giving me little notice of his working routine-days, rarely weeks.

Can he seriously win this financially motivated battle? (This isn’t an assumption, it’s true)

Yes it is. |Court also seem to be doing the one week on one week off thing which I think sounds absolutely horrific. So I'm glad in my case it was the other option.

I was absolutely traumatised at the very idea of it but it's been wonderful because I used that weekend to veg out and rest and work and it's elevated me no end.

Also half the holidays, which saves a lot of money and means I can work when my child isn't with me and then have the weeks that they are completely off.

I was hostile to contact and my legal aid team never told me how that would go down. My ex got the maximum time and that is that it was.

Having an order is amazing though. It just takes away any conflict and both parent and child know exactly what's happening.

We were 50/50 with my stepson, on a 2/3 day rotation.

M, T one house, W, Th the other, Fri-Mon back to the first - rotate. Christmas’s were rotated so each year one house had Christmas and the other New Year’s.

It worked well, everyone got into the swing of it (including DSs) and responsibilities for all things were just split between us. Two sets of uniform, holidays split, etc etc.

I personally don’t see why fathers, where possible, shouldn’t have their children 50% of the time. They are also theirs.

He’s doing it to avoid paying child maintenance or to control the situation and stress you out. Shit dads/husbands rarely have an epiphany and decide to turn over a whole new leaf. Even if you agree and he gets them 50/50 he will farm them out to others to do the childcare. They will miss out on clubs and hobbies because he can’t be bothered or is away. It’s the kids that will suffer. As others have said do a trial run and see how he does. I’m willing to be my right arm he either fucks up or changed his mind. Also have you asked the children what they want? What is their relationship with him like now?

Do you still live together? Could you trial it and see how it goes for two weeks? You do nothing at all on ‘your’ days, go to Pilates early morning and get dressed up and go out (to the cinema if you have no local friends to see) on his days (won’t hurt coming back smiling and looking great) with your phone switched off? If he manages fine and kids are happy then maybe consider it. However if he can’t, then I would ask him for a plan in writing of how it would look like and what tasks he would do and how you would cooperate and what he would be leading on.
i disageee with this as my ex is lazy and I would end up doing all the appointments and classes and homework on my time and no fun time, while he had all the fun and no stress. However critically I’ve never outright said no to 5050 to him as this would trigger him, I just ask him what his plan is for increasing his tkme and slowly work with that (we split in pregnancy)

They would most probably prefer to be with their mother than a nanny.
It's not fair to them when the mother is available.
The op explained that he hasn't been paticularly great with the kids and now suddenly wants this in which his children will suffer.
He will be overseas ,what a ridiculous idea
Its just to upset op or financially motivated.
With no thought for how it will affect his children.
Please fight this op and definitely get legal advice