Dating someone when you live over an hours drive away from each other.

[blendedfamilies101]

I’ve been dating a guy for 8 months and so far it’s going well, we live about a 70 min drive from each other and typically spend one night together each week.

We both have children from a previous relationship (both aged 7).

I wasn’t looking for a relationship when we first met, I was hugely attracted to him and thought it would be a few dates and that it would likely fizzle out due to the distance, however here I am 8 months in and I’ve developed feeling for him, we’re both very happy together.

I’m interested to hear if anyone has been in a similar position and the relationship has worked?

I’m an over thinker and have moments where I think that despite my feelings, it would be difficult to make this type of relationship work without a huge sacrifice by one of us - it would be difficult for him to move because he sees his daughter regularly, but no set days (eg he’ll do school drop off and pick up 3x per week then have her one night at the weekend), he also works locally to where he lives. Equally, my daughter is very settled where we live (my entire family and her dad live within a 10 minute drive). So moving in together seems impossible - not that I’m thinking of moving in yet, it would be a few years down the line. But, if we decided not to uproot either of our lives and continue to live apart, then due to our work and commitments I can’t see that we’d be able to see each other more than once per week which wouldn’t be enough for me.

I’m wondering whether I start to pull back and accept that the distance is too big an obstacle or whether to continue as we are and hope that one way or another we make it work - he’s a positive guy so when I talk to him about this he’s very much of the opinion that ‘we’ll make it work’ whereas I’m more of a practical thinker and don’t want to get in deep(er) with him and eventually introduce our kids if the reality is that we probably cant make it work.

I had a relationship with somebody for about 2 years where we lived about the same distance apart. When it ended I swore to myself I couldn't be bothered to do all that travelling again, but then I 'met' somebody online who lived about 75 minutes away from me. I wasn't going to meet him in person, but he came to my town, we hit it off, and now we are extremely happily married.

It's worth it if you think it is! If you have doubts, then it's not.

Live just over 2 hours apart. Similarly I wasn’t looking for a relationship and just a bit of fun, distance was one of the plus points as I didn’t want someone taking up all my spare time, just the occasional dirty weekend 😅 All of that changed prettt much from the first week. We both have kids but mine are grown up (or pretty much, youngest is 17) his daughter is only 5. We’ve been together almost two years and the distance is an issue as we really just want to be together but we know that will happen soonish and we are both willing to wait until the time is right for our kids. For now we see each other pretty much every weekend and more when work allows. Our kids have met each other and my daughters love his daughter. When my youngest moves out I will move there as his daughter is obvs much younger so he needs to be closer. We will buy somewhere big enough for my girls and their boyfriends to come and stay whenever they want. I can’t wait though!

We were 2 hours drive away from each other and our employment commitments kept us located where each of us were.

so to touch on the long distance bit, yes it can work out very well. Enjoy it for what it is, and when the children are all older, then re-consider an in-between move. You would still be less than an hour away from your parents.

Worked for us. We were just over an hour apart but no kids. We stayed at each other's place alternate weekends for 4 years. Moved in together nearly half way between 14 years ago.

Thats great that you have an end in sight for the long distance.

Our daughters are both a long way off going to uni or flying the nest, if we were to wait until then it would be at least 11 years before we could live together - as happy as I am with him, I don’t think I could wait that long. Like you, I miss him when we’re not together and feel like I’m constantly on a countdown until we can next see each other.

Lived forty minutes from my partner. After a about a year we introduced the children which was a game changer, as it allowed us so much more time together.
didnt move in until the youngest had left school. Have been married for three years now.