I'm just gonna give a few examples from this week. For context we're both Bengali Muslims born and raised in the UK.
1- I called my aunt. She speaks fluent English but Bengali is her first language. I was speaking to her in English. My husband proceeded to have a go at me saying I'm uncultured and disrespectful to speak in English.
2- We were getting ready to go out. I asked him "where's the ..." because I said WHERES THE he called me names and said I was rude and disrespectful and speaking to him like a roadman because I didn't say "have you seen ..." instead of where's the...
3- Today I was at my families house and ACCIDENTALLY hit my baby cousins head on the side of the crib as I picked him up. Ofc it was an accident and I felt TERRIBLE I was crying for hours from the guilt. His parents took him to the hospital for a check up (he's absolutely fine! The guilt is still there tho :( ). I called my uncle for an update whilst they were in the hospital and offered to go sit and wait with them. My husband said I was very disrespectful because I didn't ask his permission first.
4- Leading up to today, as there was a big gathering at my families house I asked my husband the other day if I should just stay at my mums tonight as it'll be late and he doesn't like me coming home past a certain time. I said I'll be home first thing the next day. He said yeah sure. Then yesterday he said he doesn't want me to stay. I had already told my mum I'm staying but I said okay I won't stay. He then changed his mind again and told me to stay because it's raining and he doesn't want me driving with strong winds. I'm now afraid to stay incase he argued with me over it (which he has done multiple times before). Turns out either way would've caused an issue because now I'm not listening and disrespectful for NOT staying.
Another example from a few weeks ago - I bought some hair dye. Similar to what my hair is already. He got upset saying I don't value his opinion or choice because I didn't ask or show him before I bought it. I chose a colour I know he'd like. After a lot of back and forth I said sorry okay I'll return it look online see if you like any other colours. He ended up choosing the one I already bought.
After today's events he decided to tell me he doesn't think this marriage is going to work because of my disrespect. Bear in mind I'm already upset and stressed because of my cousin and even my mum had spoken to my husband on the phone and told him to keep an eye on me. And he goes and says this not even an hour later.
Am I really that bad? And rude? Is he better off without me?