Would your DH "stick up" for you?

[Tweeti]

If somebody put you down or shouted at you or was aggressive to you, would your DH stand up for you / have words with the person?

I've realised that mine never has - or would. He doesn't do confrontation and prioritises his own self preservation (if you were being unkind you could call it cowardly!).

Once I would have said it wouldn't have mattered to me, but as I'm getting older I strangely feel a bit bothered by it. I don't know why.

Interested in hearing other people's thoughts.

Yes mine totally would as I would for him.

No idea, I can't think of a time in the last 20 years where I'd have needed DP to stick up for me.

As for me sticking up for her, again it's not something that's been needed much. My Mum had a tendency to get a little over-involved when DD was little and I'd take DPs side, because she was right, rather than because she was DP. DP also used to have a tendency to get a bit feisty with random men when she's steaming on a night out. She's very short and if one happens to bump into her she'll generally start an argument. I told her that I'm staying well out of it if that happens. They're not going to take a swing at her, but they might at me, and I'm not risking getting in a fight because of something she started needlessly.

My ex would never ever stick up for me. I never felt he had my back in any regard.

I’m not sure I follow.. why did he ‘bollock’ men for swearing in the presence of a pregnant woman?

Because I’m a delicate little flower or men shouldn’t swear in front of ladies! I don’t know, he does find people who swear every other word absolutely intolerable though and I’ve always found that really really rough blokes do get an attack of conscience about swearing in front of women and tend to apologise. I did say to him what on earth are you doing, don’t bring me into this. The baby can’t hear!

It Worked, they stopped swearing and immediately apologised proving my point above.

How odd. It all seems a bit sexist to me. Women don’t need to be protected from swearing.

Mine absolutely would and has done before. He’d have my back 100% no matter what

I would find that incredibly embarrassing-I’d probably be rethinking my life choices!

Mine would but he would also tell me if I was out of order too.

Absolutely. He’s got some annoying qualities but he’s extremely loyal and protective.

No. It's not necessarily about backing someone in a potentially scary situation either. IMHO it's about having your back generally and not siding with the other person, even strangers, which he will do just so that he doesn't feel uncomfortable. I sent a meal back in a restaurant because it was basically a rip off. He wanted me to not to make a fuss and eat it!! Just left me to it and didn't say a word which in one aspect fine I can stick up for myself but don't then pressure me into not saying anything and try to make it as though I'm making a fuss!! Grrrrrrr.....

He's a coward and I don't trust him to have my back. He would 100% help a stranger or work colleague over me and my family. Seen it loads of times. Soon to be ex because of the disloyalty/lack of trust plus others reasons but they're very big reasons in my view.

Imagine when you're older and in hospital and the care you're receiving isn't adequate. Couldn't guarantee he'd stick up for me to get the right care as he wouldn't want to look bad in front of the consultants!
Loyalty to your family is really important to me. I just wish I'd jumped sooner.
Sorry for the long rant but feel better for it!