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Original poster

Online dating

32 replies

AmyJahabee · 11/09/2025 19:10

Hi,
l have been talking to a guy I met online for about 6 weeks. We have been on two lovely dates and I like him and he seem to like me too..
but the issue is he seem to kinda only want to meet once every two weeks.. this is not enough for me as I feel the connection will be difficult to keep going. We have been texting everyday and calls in between.
Here
week 1: he came for our first date to visit.. we arrange a date for two weeks later
week 2: while in communication I said I’m available we can meet earlier than next week. He replied saying “I have something arranged with family”
week 3: no date just chatting on phone and text.
week 4: we had our second date, and concluded to meet in week 5.
week 5: is this current week I message confirming I could come over, he said oh sorry I have to do something with my family (his dad and siblings)
he suggests we meet in week 6 ( next week)
No sex, we only kissed.
should I stop calling and texting and only respond?
should I still consider going on more dates? and remove any emotion and just enjoy the date? keep him as friends but no benefit in terms of physical relationships
I like him but I have a feeling he is dating someone else..
what would you do? Should I move on and stop responding?

OP posts:
Elixir86 · 11/09/2025 19:40

I'd say you are still very early so a date every 2 weeks is fine. Further along id start to expect an increase in regularity.
I'd be conscious of getting too invested too soon as you know very little about each other so it's good to not be having dates too fast.

StarDolphins · 11/09/2025 19:44

That would suit me perfectly! I’m a slow burner and I’d rather go way too slow than too fast. I think this is fine for so early on.

But if you’re not happy with the flow, could you mention it to him? It’s ok to let him know you’d like a bit more.

AlexandraJJ · 11/09/2025 19:45

What did he say he was looking for? If men are keen they don’t hang about and make it clear they want to see you even if they have other plans.

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 11/09/2025 19:48

It’s very early days OP, there really isn’t a connection to sustain yet.

That said, in dating you need to prioritise what you want, not just take whatever is offered. If you want more dates from the off, someone like this isn’t for you and you need to move on.

DiscoBob · 11/09/2025 19:50

Definitely go on other dates. You've only seen eachother twice and had a kiss. You don't owe him exclusive at this point.

Tbh saying you've got things to do with family, sort of could be a semi truth. But the family in question is his wife and kids? That would be my only slight concern.

I'd expect a bloke to be a bit more available and frankly eager to get physical than that. At least at the beginning. But maybe he's just taking things slow for honourable reasons.

Arlanymor · 11/09/2025 19:52

Wasn’t there another thread on this topic, which I responded to, or am I going mad?

Mumlaplomb · 11/09/2025 19:53

Is he definately single op? It does seem a bit of a lack of impetus to meet up. I would check him out properly to make sure he hasn’t got a partner etc hiding behind the scenes.

CAMHShelp · 11/09/2025 20:09

I’d assume he wasn’t single

Greenfingered1 · 11/09/2025 20:10

It is still early days, but it would be nice if he also seemed eager to meet you a bit more frequently too. What did you do on your dates? Where they pricey? Just wondering if money is tight and he can't afford to do regular meals out etc.

GingerPaste · 11/09/2025 20:13

Maybe he’s dating several people (and you’re all on the two week rota). How far away does he live? I’d hope for a bit more enthusiasm/momentum at the start of a relationship.

smallsilvercloud · 11/09/2025 20:14

Has he got kids? just saying a lot of dads have every other weekend free, or has a family he’s keeping quite for some reason. I don’t think you can easily form a relationship that casual tbh, it wouldn’t be for me.

MeganM3 · 11/09/2025 20:17

Give it much less of your time and emotional energy. What’s the point in investing too much interest when he’s only been able to meet twice in a month. If he’s able to meet and you fancy a date then great, have fun, but don’t pin any expectations on this guy anytime soon

9CTdad · 11/09/2025 20:27

I am in the same situation,only thing is ,I am the guy. It's just about priorities to be honest , the long you go, your go higher up in the list.

Give it time ,the fact that he is rushing to sex etc is normal . As you can see also ,you talk everyday and keep connecting more and more before any physical stuff.

I have a kid, I am a business owner ,family, friends etc, these things existed before the lady I am seeing.

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 11/09/2025 21:49

I can call him anytime and he would answer, not been to his house. He claim he is single and has no children and lives alone.
I would step back and only be responsive and not proactive.

He is not driving, it’s 45mins train journey distance, I do drive. He came to my town on both dates so the third date I offered to go to his but since he pushed it forward I don’t want to go to his town anymore and would leave it to him if he is really bothered he will come to my town again.

dates have been cheap and I have contributed to the meals, and drive us around to places in my town.

OP posts:
Gaminggeek · 11/09/2025 22:35

I would be a bit unsure, and keep my emotions out of things currently. But it’s still early days.
I met my husband on online dating and he lived an hour away from me at the time but we met at least once a week, sometimes only for an hour due to him having his kid on weekends and me having mine all week so it was hard but we made it work.
I think if it’s genuine things will change, but that’s why you should be cautious for now.

TwistedWonder · 11/09/2025 22:51

What are his reasons for not meeting more often? It may be he has pre arranged plans which will settle down as time goes on.

Is his reasons are genuine, then just say to him will more regular dates be on the cards soon.

Pushandpull25 · 12/09/2025 00:05

@AmyJahabee he has no kids or ties that take up his time so he is actively choosing to only see you twice in 6 weeks. He will be dating others. If someone doesn’t see you much it’s usually because they are busy elsewhere ….

Navyontop · 12/09/2025 06:14

It’s very early days and people do have busy lives. I don’t think every other week for a few months is abnormal. Once you build a connection and perhaps get physical (if that’s your thing before marriage), then I’d expect much more contact in person.
You’re either massively overthinking it, which means you’re not ready for a relationship. Or something is off about this guy and you’re picking up on subtle clues.
But this frequency would suit me fine at the start.

Meadowfinch · 12/09/2025 06:18

What does he do for work?

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 12/09/2025 06:41

He work in the school office and work from home everyday, my job is a lot more busier

OP posts:
Greypanda86 · 12/09/2025 06:47

Elixir86 · 11/09/2025 19:40

I'd say you are still very early so a date every 2 weeks is fine. Further along id start to expect an increase in regularity.
I'd be conscious of getting too invested too soon as you know very little about each other so it's good to not be having dates too fast.

This

Gretafamily · 12/09/2025 07:18

smallsilvercloud · 11/09/2025 20:14

Has he got kids? just saying a lot of dads have every other weekend free, or has a family he’s keeping quite for some reason. I don’t think you can easily form a relationship that casual tbh, it wouldn’t be for me.

Yes, was about to ask are there kids on the scene as then it would make sense. And if that was the case I would see it as a green flag that he wasn’t changing his kids schedule to go on dates.
But if it doesn’t suit you, then you don’t have to carry on. If you would prefer to see someone more frequently then you don’t have to stick with this guy.

MrMucker · 12/09/2025 07:41

If he works in a school office he won't be on high pay. He might even only be paid term time only. So a 45 min train journey will be pricey for him.
Your dates have been modest in spend and you have contributed too, so he profiles as someone who just doesn't have much spare money to throw around.
No way would he say that to you atm though.

LeaAndDer · 12/09/2025 07:50

I couldn’t be bothered having to drive him around. That would be a non starter for me.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/09/2025 08:05

It’s not looking good I don’t think op. For one, do you want to be the driver forever?

but, to the general point, I kinda think the other way - if someone is available immediately say every weekend, I’m thinking - would you normally be doing absolutely nothing then?!? I want someone with friends, hobbies etc