Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Online dating. Mans age red flag?

38 replies

superplumb · 08/09/2025 14:44

Speaking to one guy who said he was age x. I did a bit of goggling...and hes actually 5 years older.
I called him out in it jn a round about way without saying that I googled him. He was kinda.. im as old as the woman I feel etc..
He then admitted his real age and said he wasnt aware if the age on his profile.

Now I know this is not a mistake and may be either to get into a filter bracket or he has low self esteem.
Im trying to decide if its a red or orange flag. We haven't met up yet

Thoughts?

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 08/09/2025 14:49

He's full of shit, of course he chose to lie about his age. What else is he lying about? 🚩

IdaGlossop · 08/09/2025 14:51

One interaction, two lies. Bin.

GardenGaff · 08/09/2025 14:51

Im as old as the woman I feel

Grim.

That would be a non starter for me.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/09/2025 15:01

Ignore it and arrange to meet up with him for dinner. Make your messages more and more saucy, maybe suggest booking a hotel for the night. On the day of the dates stay at home. When he messages you asking where you are telling him you left the restaurant 5 hours ago and weren't aware of the time on the booking and didn't think it would be an issue.

Then block him.

IdaGlossop · 08/09/2025 15:16

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/09/2025 15:01

Ignore it and arrange to meet up with him for dinner. Make your messages more and more saucy, maybe suggest booking a hotel for the night. On the day of the dates stay at home. When he messages you asking where you are telling him you left the restaurant 5 hours ago and weren't aware of the time on the booking and didn't think it would be an issue.

Then block him.

He's not worth all this effort!

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 08/09/2025 15:27

Guys always lie about their age - I wouldn’t be impressed.

They think they deserve to date younger women and this is a sneaky way to get them - they’re hoping you’ll be so bowled over by their charm that you’ll forgive the lie.

I’d bin him to be honest, what else is he lying about…

Planesmistakenforstars · 08/09/2025 15:48

Im trying to decide if its a red or orange flag.

It doesn't matter which of these it might be, because

We haven't met up yet

Don't bother with anyone who can't even clear the incredibly low bar of not lying before you've even met ffs.

ThatAquaRobin · 08/09/2025 16:45

Huge red flag.
They lie to try and date a younger woman
Out of date pictures and lying about age are the first red flags you will see. Don't ignore them.
My last ex was truthful about his age but used pics that were 6 years old.
Turns out he'd hid alcohol and cocaine too.

RaininSummer · 08/09/2025 16:48

Don't get involved with it. I had three dates with a guy before it transpired that he was 5 years older than billed. It wouldn't have been an issue if he hadn't lied.

ThatAquaRobin · 08/09/2025 16:49

In fact.
"I am actually 55 not 48 but don't know how to change it on this app"
Gets an automatic swipe left from me every time.
Avoid avoid avoid

Pinkfreedom · 08/09/2025 17:09

"He was kinda.. im as old as the woman I feel etc".

Seriously? Jeez that comment alone would have repulsed me.

I don't think a small lie on a profile of just a few years is too bad as long as the person does own up to it.

Hatty65 · 08/09/2025 17:16

I wouldn't meet him. He can't even be honest on his profile about how old he is. I don't date liars.

Imaybeoldbutstillrandy · 08/09/2025 17:21

That 'I'm as old as the woman I feel' is rather cheesy & would give me the ick.

My (now DH) was 'economical with the truth' about his age on his OND profile.

He quickly admitted that he was 5 years older than his profile. I asked why he lied, he said that he didn't think anyone would be interested in an 'old man' so made out he was a bit younger. I wasn't happy, but, after much chatting, we arranged to meet.

He was very local to me had a prominent business locally so I was able to check him out with friends who knew of him, knew him or his late wife.

I felt that I could forgive him lying about his age as he hasn't lied about anything else.

As Miss Bronte said 'Reader, I married him' - 5 years ago come December.

aquashiv · 08/09/2025 17:21

Many lie about age height job marital status photos just about everything really

StrangerOnline · 08/09/2025 17:25

Wow, I don’t know if I’m particularly gullible… or maybe just kinder than you lot!

c’mon guys, it’s only 5 years, and men are allowed to feel insecure about their age too?
Agree he shouldn’t lie, but you could give him benefit of the doubt and at least meet him before writing him off. No second chances on other porkies though.

I actually feel a bit sorry for him as women often lie about their age on profiles - double standards

edit to add:- “old as woman I feel” IS really icky, but a common old-fashioned ‘dad-joke’ . Is he 50+ ?

MaggieBeaufort · 08/09/2025 17:43

Age lie - orange flag
'as old as the woman I feel' comment - red flag

That would be a definite no from me.

TwistedWonder · 08/09/2025 18:07

Deal breaker for me - he’s shown he’s a liar from day 1. In my experience it won’t be the only thing he’s lied about - probably 3/4 inches shorter than he’s claimed as well.

Nope - lying about age, instant unmatch for me

Imaybeoldbutstillrandy · 08/09/2025 18:08

StrangerOnline · 08/09/2025 17:25

Wow, I don’t know if I’m particularly gullible… or maybe just kinder than you lot!

c’mon guys, it’s only 5 years, and men are allowed to feel insecure about their age too?
Agree he shouldn’t lie, but you could give him benefit of the doubt and at least meet him before writing him off. No second chances on other porkies though.

I actually feel a bit sorry for him as women often lie about their age on profiles - double standards

edit to add:- “old as woman I feel” IS really icky, but a common old-fashioned ‘dad-joke’ . Is he 50+ ?

Edited

We are of the same mind StrangerOnline 😉

Original poster
superplumb · 08/09/2025 18:39

StrangerOnline · 08/09/2025 17:25

Wow, I don’t know if I’m particularly gullible… or maybe just kinder than you lot!

c’mon guys, it’s only 5 years, and men are allowed to feel insecure about their age too?
Agree he shouldn’t lie, but you could give him benefit of the doubt and at least meet him before writing him off. No second chances on other porkies though.

I actually feel a bit sorry for him as women often lie about their age on profiles - double standards

edit to add:- “old as woman I feel” IS really icky, but a common old-fashioned ‘dad-joke’ . Is he 50+ ?

Edited

Yeah hes slightly older than 50. He did say it was a mistake. I didnt outright say I knew he was lying...so he couldve carried on with the lie i guess but said he didnt even realise and it was a mistake. Now I know that isn't true..which again makes me concerned. If he was just like..yeah because otherwise I get ladies of x age messaging me..then fine. But not keen on liars, esp after my ex husband

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 08/09/2025 18:56

He’s lied once, he will again.

TwistedWonder · 08/09/2025 18:57

Not from Ipswich is he?

HelenHywater · 08/09/2025 19:03

I'm with @ThatAquaRobin - can't bear it that they lie. It's my choice to date men in a certain age bracket (because I strongly believe that age isn't just a number) and if they lie, they take my choice away.

And yes, all those men who seem to hit a glitch on the app which means they put the wrong age in and can't change it.

Actually its rare to find one that hasn't lied about his age.

RockingBeebo · 08/09/2025 19:03

I would find it incredibly off putting. When I online dated I would not have dreamed about lying about my age - I was 47 - how embarrassing to have to confess one day if it worked out. I would have been genuinely shocked if a man did it to me. When I did meet my partner in real life he told me his age that night, off the bat, in case I thought he was younger - he was then 50 and wanted to make sure. Honesty is such an important value

smallsilvercloud · 08/09/2025 19:11

I can’t bear lying, you have to set your age, only he did it! Does he really think you were born yesterday FFS I wouldn’t trust them about anything else and I’d feel he insulted my intelligence.

CalzoneOnLegs · 08/09/2025 19:13

GardenGaff · 08/09/2025 14:51

Im as old as the woman I feel

Grim.

That would be a non starter for me.

Yeah, move over Oscar Wilde