Claire’s law disclosure?

[FirstTimer888]

Hi, not sure if this is the right place but hopefully someone will have advice.

I have very recently started dating someone, the first person / date since separating from DD dad 18 months ago. We’ve only had a few dates, and all seems good.

Due to previous abuse, I made a Claire’s law application as soon as I had Dob, full name etc. Nothing made me feel I need to, but having been burnt in the past, I want to make the most of the options available.

Today I had a call from the police to see if I had any more info which would help confirm who I was applying about. After some conversation we identified a specific tattoo on this person.

They then said that now they were ‘satisfied that I was enquiring about this person they have in the database’, they would review and get back to me with a disclosure if necessary. She then said (unprompted) ‘just because this person is in their database, isn’t something to worry about so don’t jump to conclusions’.

My head is now spinning - is this someone I should be concerned about or not? Having been in a bad situation previously, I won’t continue with these dates if something is disclosed, but I now feel in limbo.

Has anyone has a similar situation? Or any idea what the database is their referring to? Just a criminal one or specially DV?

Is it though? It doesn’t look like it’s permitted…

Sharing the Information you receive is not permitted. Because this is confidential- often related to convictions which is protected information . You are asked to sign a confidentiality statement to agree you won’t share what you have learned with anyone else.

In many cases it isn’t advisable to tell the perpetrator you have made the request , as this can increase risk. This is a decision made by the person seeking the CL disclosure.

Often women already experiencing violence from the subject, or who feel they are at risk of violence from the subject do not tell them that they have made the disclosure request, as this can increase risk.

Many do choose to tell the subject they have made a CL disclosure request , if they feel it is safe to do so.

@cannyvalley thanks for articulating it so well.

in different circumstances I may not have made him aware of Clare’s law disclosure. However as the relationship was so short, I felt like him knowing I wasn’t afraid to speak to police and I knew the full story was more of a deterrent for him to try and convince me otherwise. There is no arguing with it, and not enough time between us for an emotional pull.

in other circumstances and with other people it may not be right to do it. I can only talk of my experience. And as yet I still haven’t had any further contact since the ‘fair enough’ so I’m happy with my decision.

@MumofSpud so sorry you’re having to go through this, and especially with what sounds like a really bad disclosure! The children part would really bother me.

How long have you been together? Do you have DC?

Does he know where you live?

Clare’s Law is a wonderful thing. But there’s something I wonder that I can’t find on Google- do the police only disclose if a person has been charged/convicted of a relevant offence or do they have a lower threshold of say a DBS report, and maybe inform you of complaints against the person that perhaps weren’t followed up or proved?

I had a horrible controlling emotionally abusive ex and I sometimes wonder if it would be useful to report what happened to me, just for Clare’s Law purposes, not to take it further.

It sounds like a good idea but I can't imagine the police would go about telling people about things that were never proven or never even looked into.

I know you know OP but for the lurkers… These men don’t change. Even with ‘treatment’ and counselling and anger management and all the stuff, they don’t change. The recidivism rate is about 90%.