Not Again!

[Notnotagain]

I'm a regular poster but have name changed.

Long story short, Dh and I had a great marriage, he then had an affair, we got over it.

Things had until the last few weeks been going well. Then he started to snipe at me again. I ignored it, but was left with that nagging gut feeling that I couldn't put my finger on.

Today I was clearing the computers up, clearing out some cookies, and a general de-frag etc.

I went to do Dh's computer, something that I do as he has no clue how to or is too lazy to do.

His PC has suddenly been passworded, alarm bells rang, I got through password, and he is at it again! very clearly on his computer, emails, pictures, facebook, msn and it has left me with no doubt what he is doing!
I'm bloody angry. This is going to sound awful, but the last time and this time he has chosen an absolute dog of a woman, which makes it worse.
I know what I have to do, I can't live like this, he will just keep on doing it, I know.
But I am so so angry!

How sad for you to have to find this out again.
Do you have any plans for your next step?
Do you have children together?

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Plans are as far as I can think. See lawyer, get it started, sort out finances, although there isn't much to sort, all the bills are in my name and I pay them. Talk to the Dc, they are not little ones, so it should make it easier, I hope.
There is no point in talking to him about it.
He has blown it. God I'm angry.

As far as I am concerned if he wants to screw dogs he can, but not when he is with me.

I think I would feel the same.
Is he away at the moment?

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I can't believe he's been so stupid, you so deserve something better in your life.

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I don't know the woman in real life and I am probably being unfair to her.

He is away for the weekend, due back tomorrow night. I am seriously contemplating just letting the papers arrive for him thb.
It will give me time to sort the things here that I need to out and get my business head on.

Certainly not letting on that you've found out gives you time to sort out finances (got any accounts to empty?), get your legal advice etc.

Time to upgrade your car whilst the finances are still joint, go on a shopping spree etc?

Does the pc clearly suggest a relationship? Not just flirting etc.

How bloody awful. what an absolute shit.

Sorry but I would do the same.

Quietly sort the whole lot out your side and then inform him of your decision - exactly the same sorry outcome sans the sordid and rows.

I wouldn't give the OW another thought. It is irrelevant really what she looks like. If she was a stunner it would still hurt.

No it's very clear that it's not just flirting. I don't know if that would have been any better or worse though.

I can't cope with arguements, there is no point. From what I can see he will always do this and I pity the next woman who has a relationship with him.

It makes me angry for the two years that spent working on the marriage. I could have already been well into mine and my dc's new life. It was just wasted time.
I'm also angry that I will need to go to the clinic and get checked, he hates wearing condoms and has had the snip, so I doubt that he has used any protection.

Sorry for ranting

what a tosser.

Agree with just sorting everything out before confronting him.

How did he react the last time? was he remorseful etc? it'll never happen again and all the clichets that go with the discovery of the affair?

You're worth better than this.

Although how easily will you be able to keep the fact you know from him?

Can you print of the pages which contain the evidence? If you want to divorce on the grounds of his adultery (you will need proof of actual sexual intercourse) or unreasonable behaviour (the pages should suffice) you will need some evidence. You can't use his last episode of adultery because it was more than 6 months ago.

His reaction last time was that it was all my fault. I had over reacted and I was being controlling over who he spent time with.
He wasn't that sorry really, until the OW involved herself and called me, he tried to say she was a nutter and had got the wrong end of the stick, but it all came out in the end. He wanted to work at our relationship and we went to relate.

I should be okay with keeping the fact that I know this time from him. I feel a bit numb and very cross. I have lots of distractions with work and the DC.

Freckle, I have already printed out his mobile phone call log and emails already. I can't get hold of the mns history.

I want to catch him red handed, I know that is sad of me.

MSN *

You know if you want history from msn but he has it set up not to save convos you can d/l msn plus and set it on 'enable chatlog', it will save the convos in a different place away from normal saved convos.
Sorry you're going through this.

Thankyou VS I'll get on to that. I want to make sure that I have him bang to rights when I see legal.

It's a much clearer log than normal msn as well, tells you if the other person's status changed, if they logged out, allsorts.
All that will show up on his msn menu will be a paint style icon, that's it.
I'm sure if you're able to de-frag the pc extra you'll work it out pretty easily

I feel like chopping his balls off on your behalf. Why has he put you through the pretence of working at your marriage for absolutely no change of attitude on his behalf.

etc not extra

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