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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ghosted again. Why does nothing ever work out?

57 replies

Forfucksake84 · 27/08/2025 08:42

I've been chatting to a guy for 2 weeks. I matched with him on an app but he happens to work for the same company as me so has popped in twice to see me for 5 minute 'dates' which went well. He seemed very complimentary about me, messaging to say I was 'lovely ' and 'stunning ' etc, and that we should meet up for coffee soon. (It's been hard to arrange a date as we've both been very busy) .he last messaged on Monday to say he'd had a really busy day and was gutted to have missed me and I replied asking if he was still free the following day as I may be able to meet him after all (he'd initially suggested Tuesday but I'd had plans) and he has seen the message and just not answered. Seems very out of character for him as until now he's been messaging regularly, several times a day. He has mentioned that he lives with his mum who has dementia so I considered that could be a reason, but still would have thought he'd find time for a text.
I'm just really disappointed as I thought he seemed really nice and that for just once this could potentially lead to something. Obviously not....

OP posts:
backandforthup · 28/08/2025 19:40

Any update Op, or were you truly ghosted?

Forfucksake84 · 28/08/2025 20:33

Yep. Definitely ghosted. Not a peep and it's been 3 days. Very odd as, he seemed so keen before

OP posts:
Mumlaplomb · 28/08/2025 20:41

I still think he will pop back up again but I wouldn’t bother with him if he’s so inconsistent

ChristmasFluff · 28/08/2025 20:48

Some men do not want an actual relationship, they only want the texting ego-boost (and in your case the at-work flirtation).

It's why it's a good idea to get to first date really quickly - it rules out the ones who only want to text. If they faff about or make excuses, you can bin them off without wasting time and emotional energy.

momtoboys · 28/08/2025 20:54

I am so glad I am not in the dating world these days. Try to brush it off and move onto the next interesting man.

Forfucksake84 · 28/08/2025 20:55

ChristmasFluff · 28/08/2025 20:48

Some men do not want an actual relationship, they only want the texting ego-boost (and in your case the at-work flirtation).

It's why it's a good idea to get to first date really quickly - it rules out the ones who only want to text. If they faff about or make excuses, you can bin them off without wasting time and emotional energy.

Yeah i get what you mean, but it was him who initially said we should go out for coffee and then when I said I was actually free he goes silent. I really don't understand what goes on in men's heads, but they all seem to be the same unfortunately

OP posts:
Pleasealexa · 28/08/2025 21:50

I suspect he is still active online. I don't think he sounds great...consider why you invested so much at this stage? Whilst messaging him did you continue to message and like up other dates?

Nothing is real until you arrange a date and subsequently both agree to meet again.

Btw, he doesn't sound great, way too much going on

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