So my husband and I got married 4 years ago.
We didn’t live together due to cultural reasons. He is 42 and I am 34.
Anyway,
Before marriage:
I was already earning over £150k. I already owned a property that I was renting out. I also had considerable savings that I made over the years.
My husband also earns well (90k). Has a property and he wanted his property to be the marital home. (His idea).
When we got married he said he’d take care of the bills. I did offer to go splits on all the bills including mortgage, as didn’t think it was fair on him. He insisted he wanted to do it solely as it’s a “man’s job”.
Throughout the course of marriage… I’ll get all the groceries, holidays, gifts etc. I also do majority of the savings for both of us. As a way of contributing.
What’s frustrating is…
Whenever we argue, it could be about the smallest and unrelated thing ever, he’ll always bring my salary into it. He’ll make remarks such as “you think you are better coz you earn more”.
Bear in mind, I have NEVER SAID to him I earn more or ever thought I was better.
Or he’ll make remarks about how I have had life easy coz I got a house that I rent out etc (ignoring the fact that I worked for it and being a LL isn’t easy in this day and age).
I’ve spent many occasions reassuring him that what we have is for both of us. The savings and investments I make, it’s for both of us. I don’t think I’m better and that I value that he provides a roof over my head etc.
it’s just never enough.
In arguement he’ll always remind me it’s his house I live in. But in return I never remind him of the food and outings he does is because of me. Or most of the furniture is what I paid for. It’s petty.
Recently he’s accused me of sleeping my way to the top that’s how I got the job. He also remarked I physically disgust him as my body is gross (first time he’s ever said this), and his ex is better. And that I think I’m special because “you have some money and assets”.
I just don’t get it why he always mentions this in every arguement. Im now believing he’s jealous of me. Even writing this out seems crazy to me. Maybe I’m wrong. But my gut is telling me it’s jealousy. If so, can you ever come past this?