Just that really. I've been seeing a lovely man for three months. We both have children 85% of the time, so time together is precious however, we both make the time and effort to find a babysitter. We talk everyday and we have a lot in common. All is going really well.
Recently, he raised the subject of 'bumping into each other', in our local cinema (we live in quite a small town), so that we could naturally allow our children to meet, as well as us being gently introduced to the children in a child friendly environment. I do want this to happen in the future, but am concerned it's too soon.
For context, I split from my child's father 6 years ago. I was seeing someone for nearly 18 months up until October last year, so had spent a lot of time being single and cautious. 9 months in, I met their two older children but was never allowed to meet the younger child, as their mum didn't want me to have involvement. She then went on to cause a great deal of strain on the relationship. His older children children were in their late teens and also very expectant of me (and anyone around them to be frank), to foot the bill on their behalf, very rude to me at times and were not very welcoming. They were just not kind people in short.
A few months later, he met my child who is 9. He had very little interest in them and made it clear that there seemed to be some unspoken competition between my child and his child, who was of a similar age. He was never interested in my child's achievements but would constantly talk about his own children as if they were a bit superior. I would never even look at children in a competitive manner, just be as accepting as I can. There was very little effort put into building a relationship with my little one, despite me being as receptive and supportive as I could to his older children. I ended the relationship and regretted wasting so much time.
Fast forward to now. I do want this new person to meet my child, as they have children of a similar age and is fully engrossed and engaging with things of that age group. They have a good relationship with their ex and have a set schedule with their children.
I'm just worried that it's too soon but on the other hand don't want to be in the same position as before! I don't want to fall deeply for this man, only for the children to hate each other, or us, or anything similar, and things to have to end. Part of me thinks if I do it now, nobody gets hurt and nobody's time is wasted in large measures.