I would t let him see his son, but if you want to that’s your choice.
The message is extremely combative, understandable because you’re angry (like I say I would not facilitate it anyway).
If it’s to foster a good relationship between father and son, I’d say the same things but in a less aggressive tone, but only if you are doing this because you think it’s long term good for your son.
i would put along the lines of:-
I was surprised to receive your message after so long, but I hope we can move forward with a relationship between you and XX. A good father and DC relationship is a definite positive.
We will need to move slowly for XX sake,
A secure setting for XX is important, so I’m willing to facilitate short meetings at our home, building over time to let XX get to know you, once he is confident, we will review. It may be a slow process, but let’s see how XX progresses, he’s a shy/confident/ little lad, so who knows.
No Daddy status for a while, it’ll need to be built up to that, I will agree that once I see how the relationship develops and decide how/when/if an appropriate time to tell him is. (saying if you don’t turn up, you won’t be daddy!.
We need to discuss finances (over this email, not when/if you visit), you’re not contributing enough to his life currently, this needs to be addressed as a matter of urgency. Could you confirm your solution to this?
Absolutely no discussions about how, when or where you next see him in front of him. Any discussions on money etc, must be via email. I think it’s best to avoid any conflict in front of XX, Which Im sure you’ll agree is best.
Let me know your thoughts on the above.
Good luck, if this is what you want, but you don’t have to do any of it!