kinks/fetishes

[CautiouslyMe]

I've NC for this for obvious reasons and avoided posting on the sex board because I kind of want serious advice about this.

I've recently met a guy through OLD. We had great chemistry and chat, where we bounced off eachother and it seemed pretty easy and natural. It has mainly been lighthearted from us starting with lots of banter. Reference to kinks were occasionally drip fed into conversation. At first I assumed it was a joke because its mainly been a blink and you miss it topic in our chats. However, we have now met (nothing intimate or anything has happened yet) and since then the subtle kink references have come full force. A brief mention has now transpired to having previously had a Instagram dedicated to one of them, it appears he have multiple but whilst finally named a few, is cagey about specifics when I probe further and switches the conversation back to joking around.

I've never had any experience with the world of fetish before, I'm slightly uncomfortable with the sudden shift and what I may be being led into here. So I've come here to ask a couple of questions to try and centre my thoughts...

Would you date someone with kinks? Do you have kinks and can expand more on that type of lifestyle or relationship? Is this something that can be looked past if things were to continue? Or am I just talking myself out of seeing multiple red flags here?

Re. the above, I haven't RTWT. At a quick skim, it sounds as if OP made the right decision for her. I'll leave my post above up, in case it's useful for others.

The big red flag here is the communication

If he is drip feeding his communication about the kinks . . .
Then he's going to be drip feeding his communication within the kinks.

So if you chose to agree to try them, he will keep moving goal posts and pushing boundaries. Making whatever you're doing unsafe. Because that's what he's doing now, when you're only talking about them

I have heard of it, vaguely, when I was researching kink after I met my kinky ex, but I can't for the life of me remember what it entails. I'm imagining having cold slime put on your sensitive bits for the sensation, like whipped cream but less messy?? Who knows.

Stick snails up your bum!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Absolutely rolling!

Honestly relieved to read you've binned him, I was reading your earlier posts and thinking 'This man is mental'.

Most people in their early 40s are into slime and goo? Right. I'll report back if I suddenly get the urge in 5 years' time.

Give it a go. If you’re not into it, back off.

He's not been up front at all, he's drip feeding.

as so often, first poster nails it. Trust your gut.

I managed to avoid that urge in my 40s. And none of the men I dated in my 40s appeared to get it either.

Errr no slime and goo are not popular kinks ! I’d run a mile

I would put money on it that you’re not the only OLD in his life and He’s also getting his kinks and fetishes elsewhere

It’s bad enough when the grandkids have had slime it gets everywhere,Fuck having that all in the bedroom 😭or the shower.

rwalker have you not read the posts ? clearly not 🙄
So upfront he has OP calling him by a fake name

I Googled Goo. (Wonder if that's where the name comes from?)

It's rolling about in porridge or the like.
Righty ho.

Give what a go

That's the problem

Never try ANY kink with someone who isn't communicating up front what it'll entail.

Even the language "write it off" is manipulative

Porridge isn’t even gooey, I’m almost disappointed.

My partner is 10 years older than me, in his mid 40’s, and into some fairly heavy/kinky stuff. So probably hits lots of the demographics people think are creepy etc etc.

I can confirm however that he missed the 40’s goo habit, and the only porridge in our house is for breakfast.

Yeah it would be a no from me.

I like a bit of kink but lack of and poor communication is a massive red flag. Be upfront or fook off.

Yeah because that's not dangerous!

🙄

Most people associate kink and fetishes with bdsm type of activities. Yes we know there are loads but slime and footie shirts? I mean it is just not sexy at all.

He just sounds weird so for that reason it'd be a no for me.

Googled it for the cause 💪🏻😂

Goo is apparently part of the “WAM” fetish subsection (wet and messy). It involves dressing in certain clothes, usually nice ones but perhaps football kits in this case, and getting covered in some substance. Green cake batter is apparently popular.

It’s in the same section as people who smash cakes up, or sit on food, or apparently throw pies at each other.

In summary - no.

If this isn't something you would like to try, maybe you guys are incompatible.

However, it's true that most kinks and fetishes are not usually played out in a "normal" relationship. They take time and effort and on a day-to-day basis, there's just not enough time and energy.

So yes, it's possible to have a "normal" relationship with someone with kinks. But no, you don't have to engage if you are uncomfortable.

These things take time and trust and when you have a partner that understands and respects you the way you are, without thinking you are an aberration, it's truly a wonderful thing.

Also the slime is not a thing to everyone in their 40s!!!!! lol

"It’s in the same section as people who smash cakes up, or sit on food, or apparently throw pies at each other."

I'm horrified people do this. What a criminal waste cakes and pies.

Thanks for reminding me of the toad like looking creature 🐸😀

I agree.

A woman I work with was paid £200 to mush a muffin up with her foot. Waste of a good muffin IMO.