Boyfriend is late to meeting my entire family and children.

[Throwaway779]

weve had this planned for so long, he’s told me all week he’ll be at mine for 12pm, and my grandma is getting us at 1pm, it’s a 45 min drive and she has a lot to do so she can’t wait around. He text me this morning “ oh what time is it again” I said 1 he said “ oh that’s so early “ and then said he’ll try be here for 12:30, I said aslong as your here by 1 it’s fine no later as she will not wait! I just text him at 12:30 are you on the train yet, “oh no I missed it I’ll be there by 1:20” absolutely not, you aren’t coming anymore loool I find it so rude!! He then said oh well send me the address I’ll come later on tonight , NO NO NO, your not gonna embarrass me by being late then turning up later tonight after you’ve spent the day getting drunk and stoned with your friends!! If you can’t turn up for something important then your not the one for me unfortunately, I don’t even play about people who have no time management I can’t bare it, especially to something so important.

think my family will think I’ve over reacted and maybe I have, but I don’t take this lightly at all.

I don't think you have overreacted you had arrangements he couldn't be bothered to stick to them. He sounds an absolute waif.

What are his good points?

Dump him. I would purely for getting stoned. How old is he?

This would really upset me too. He's actively showing you how unimportant you are to him, I'm so sorry

You have children and you’re involved with a man that gets stoned. Why?

This. Throw him back OP! You can do better

He doesn't respect you at all, get rid.

If you can’t turn up for something important then your not the one for me unfortunately
Good attitude, OP. Your family will want someone better for you too, surely?

Missing the train or being a bit tardy is annoying but forgivable, getting drunk and stoned all day with friends when he had plans with you? Unforgivable. Dump.

YANBU and it’s respectable to have standards and boundaries and stick to them. Having said that I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a man who still gets stoned and drunk with his friends in the first place.

I agree with other posters that this shows he doesn’t place you high on his priority list.

When you say he was coming to meet your family and children I hope you mean other kids in your family not kids you have with him?

He didn’t want to meet your family. He chose drink and drugs. You deserve better treatment. Chuck him back in the cesspool.

What do you see in him, OP? You certainly don't seem to like him very much, so I'm not sure why he is your partner.

You havent over reacted at all. He has no respect for your time and this is clearly a pattern. In fact, you should have ended it a long time ago.

after you’ve spent the day getting drunk and stoned with your friends
Why does a man who spends his time doing this appeal to you as a life partner?

I would agree if he was making an effort and missed the train but it sounds like he couldn’t even be bothered to plan ahead and make an effort to meet her family which she considers important.

Its the fact that he would rather spend his time drinking and smoking rather than make sure he is there for her especially when she has told him how important it is to be there on time.

💯

If he's the sort to get drunk and stoned with his friends when he's promised to come to meet your children, then you've had a narrow escape, OP. He's a waste of space.

Wait, you have children and this is the man you chose to be around them? What the hell?!

Just dump the fucker. He's not worth another second of your time.

Good on you for having such strong boundaries OP.

Doesnt sound like this one is a keeper.

Is he really the type of man you want to be with?

He's done you a favour as you can dump him now and you and your family don’t have to put up with a stoner.

He text me this morning “ oh what time is it again”

I mean, come on - I would have dropped him right here, let alone all the lateness and dope shenanigans. You don’t need to be looking after another child. A man is someone who’s capable of organising himself and showing up for you. You should tighten up your standards even more!

He sounds like a total waste of space. It’s good that he was useless so you dumped his ass. No point introducing your family to a drunk stoner with no sense of priorities or commitment.

YOU HAVE NOT OVER REACTED AT ALL!!! pls carry on in that strength. Too many women these days have no self respect. I love how you dealt with it, Zero tolerance! he has shown you he has no regard for you or your family, these are the red flag women miss. Do not worry about the time you've invested in this relationship, 9 weeks, 9 months, 9 yrs....think about the years you've got left & how you don't want to waste a single second more of it. Shut the door firmly and don't look back.

ps And next time, pls stop thinking getting drunk and stoned are normal behaviours of the man you want to build a future with whether he has an appointment or not. Do not date ANYONE who is given to drinking, never mind getting stoned.

What strikes me is that you say
NO NO NO, your not gonna embarrass me by being late then turning up later tonight after you’ve spent the day getting drunk and stoned with your friends!!
if that is what he does why are you even with him , let alone wanting him to meet your kids .

She said she has dumped him. Did you not read the OP?