Boyfriend is late to meeting my entire family and children.

[Throwaway779]

weve had this planned for so long, he’s told me all week he’ll be at mine for 12pm, and my grandma is getting us at 1pm, it’s a 45 min drive and she has a lot to do so she can’t wait around. He text me this morning “ oh what time is it again” I said 1 he said “ oh that’s so early “ and then said he’ll try be here for 12:30, I said aslong as your here by 1 it’s fine no later as she will not wait! I just text him at 12:30 are you on the train yet, “oh no I missed it I’ll be there by 1:20” absolutely not, you aren’t coming anymore loool I find it so rude!! He then said oh well send me the address I’ll come later on tonight , NO NO NO, your not gonna embarrass me by being late then turning up later tonight after you’ve spent the day getting drunk and stoned with your friends!! If you can’t turn up for something important then your not the one for me unfortunately, I don’t even play about people who have no time management I can’t bare it, especially to something so important.

think my family will think I’ve over reacted and maybe I have, but I don’t take this lightly at all.

Yes! 👍 for not sitting around catering to his not being there in a timely manner!

If he sits around getting drunk and stoned instead of showing up when he's supposed to be doing something, he sounds like a teenager or he's extremely immature and not good boyfriend material.

I agree that the stoned and drunk part is the worst bit, never mind him being late.

He's a stoner... and you're involved with him? Why? Sorry OP but up your level of respect for yourself and be single or get a bf that isn't a drunkard or a stoner.

1pm is not early, it is more than half way through the day. He sounds like a complete waste of space and not somebody that you should be in a relationship with.

He couldn't be bothered to get up early to catch the right train, so what does that tell you? You aren't worth the effort. He didn't care if he let you down.

You have not overreacted. Well done on dumping him

Agree. For someone who ‘doesn’t play’, I’m surprised OP was even wanting to be in a relationship with someone who gets drunk and stoned especially when she has kids. She should be celebrating he missed the train and hopefully set the bar higher for the next man.

Nicely done Op, he can't be asked to be up and out by 12 noon because he'd rather see his mates and get drunk/stoned. You don't need him in your life, he's just a waste of space

How long have you been in a relationship with him. Don't ever let him move in with you, I'd also avoid introducing a stoner to your kids.

As others have said, you've dodged a bullet here. He has no idea of how fortunate he was that he made it to the meeting the family stage. If he thought anything of you, he would have been there at 11am.
12 noon or even 1pm is not early! Unless you got in at 5am after being out all night.
Find yourself someone who shares your priorities in life and who doesn't need to smoke etc to have a good time and find fulfilment. You and your children deserve better.

This isn't the sort of partner that should be introduced to your family.

He sounds like the kind of guy that no self respecting woman over the age of 19 should consider dating.

Why would you want a man who day drinks and takes drugs around your kids ?
This is one of those major red flag moments . A really big clue that you should not have him in your kids life.

He’s taking the P. No intention of coming, probably lying about getting there at 1:20. Dump him, they never change. Tell your family he couldn’t make it and leave it at that for now. Enjoy your time with them and forget about him x

Am curious op has he been in touch since 🤔