After a good week, we're back to arguing for the weekend. What do people think of this, I think it needs to be totally over now. Sorry this is long, I don't want to miss anything out.
DH is self employed and his hours are unpredictable. It's a hobby that turned into a job. He could work 6 days a week and in the evening he'll be on the phone/looking for machinery/talking about it non stop. He really enjoys it.
To allow him to concentrate on his growing business, I pay 95% of household bills - mortgage, food, childcare, house loans, we split the electric bill. The business has been viable and highly profitable for the last year and a half. He has a sizeable amount in the company bank account but still doesn't take a salary.
Yesterday, I texted him and said I'd like to take DC to the beach either Saturday or Sunday. He ignored the message which is fine as he was working. At 5pm, I rang him to say I was thinking of getting BBQ food and then we could eat out in the garden. He agreed and I said OK it will take me an hour to get to the shops and 30 minutes to cook so we will eat in 1hr 30 mins. He said OK, see you later etc. We don't eat together often as he is back late so I thought this would be nice.
I also mentioned on the phone about going to the beach and he said he was working at the weekend.
So I went to the shop, got the meat. Got home and sent him a text 'food ready in 30 mins' - no answer. Started to serve up the food when ready and text to see where he was. 'Back in 30 mins' was the reply so disappointed, me and DC went to eat without him.
Anyway, he gets home after we have already eaten and he'd been in the pub for pints with a coworker. I wouldn't care about this usually but in this instance feel like he led me on. Why didn't he just say when I first rang him that he had no intention of being back on time. To me, in this instance he made a fool of me and chose his coworker over us.
When I said this he coldly looked at me and said 'I don't want to be with you'. I slept on the couch after that.
Sometimes he will take 1 DC to work with him on a Saturday, so I said to DC last night to stay off work so we can do something nice. I was going to take them to the beach. This morning DH asked DC (11yo) if he wanted to go to work and he said no.
Dh then came in and woke me up and asked what I was doing today. I said I'm taking DC out for a day out. He started saying I was doing stuff without him and he wanted to go. I said we can't all go as we will argue, I just wanted to take DC to give them a nice day. He says I didn't invite him to the beach and he wants to go. But I did tell him I wanted to go and he said he was working.
So he's now driven off to work with my car keys and house keys so I can't leave the house with DC! I think this is control and he just wants to control us all.
Am I wrong here or is he as bad as I think he is?