Neighbor getting too close

[VividMauveAnt]

I have a retired neighbour who is becoming really invasive. As I'm at home a lot with a baby the neighbor is ringing my doorbell and wanting to visit too much. This started after I had a baby. At first I was just being friendly as you do but now I'm finding her really annoying and don't want her ringing my door bell or visit anymore. There have been many times already that I've ignored the doorbell. Why does she think that I want frequent visits, I'm not interested in her life and neither should she in ours. During the summer she is away at a lot, thankfully. However, two days ago I was just about to take the baby out when the neighbor rang the doorbell, I opened and told her we're going out, she still stepped inside, how rude. Then as I was wondering where my things are, she swiched on the light, at my home! I then stepped out with her in tow. The following day she rang the doorbell at 8pm!! I was furious, didn't open. After that she still rang it once or twice but left finally.
I'm hoping that she will get the msg cause I know when I have to tell her I won't be nice. I want her to stop cause soon the cold season is here when we are at home mostly and don't want her disturbing our family life. What should I do?

“Oh not today thanks neighbour, we’re not wanting company and I am busy”

Steps through the door, “why are you coming in, I am busy and told you not today”

”Please don’t call on us after this time, we’re busy with little one”

”This isn’t a good time, see you soon” and shut the door

It sounds like a neighbour from another thread, she’s been quiet with OP, we now know why! Same neighbour?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5369383-to-ignore-my-over-friendly-neighbour?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Id keep not answering and if you occasionally do tell her it’s interfering with nap time/your work/whatever and it’s family time after 6pm. No need for long explanations. If the visits don’t lessen then you will have to take the bull by the horns and say ‘Mary I know you mean well but I don’t like these interruptions to my day. Please only come over if invited’.

Its impossible to take your attitude - silently seething and resentful but never saying anything, rather just hoping she'll take the hint. she wont take the hint! You have to tell her. neighbour, I have a small baby. Youre being intrusive and infringing on my routine and ability to settle the baby. Stop ringing at all hours and coming over uninvited. I will not answer or engage with you as its becoming a nuisance and its unwelcome. Leave me alone. If you cant face saying it face to face, you can write or text it - but you have to let her know in no uncertain terms/

No not the same one lol.

I'd tell her bluntly to leave me alone. Why worry about it when you don't want to be friends with her?

That's it, why do I find it hard to tell her bluntly. Maybe cause she was so nice to begin with and even messaged me after I came home with the baby saying to let her know if I need anything or any help. Little did I know what a nuisance she's become with the visits. I never visit her myself.

I know I'm silently seething but why are some ppl so dumb they don't get the msg. I regret ever stopping outside to chat with this neighbour. I'd be happy to just say hello and go about my business. Now I'm afraid to talk to any neighbours as I don't want this same mistake repeating ever again. I've gone completely cold on this what I thought was neighbourly friendly lady. I think she's incredibly insensitive, selfish and a disturbance. I have her number so I can text her to tell to not ringin doorbell or visit. But I really don't want her to ask when is a good time then? The answer is never!

I know, its infuriating!!! But thick skinned people like this only understand one thing and thats directness. Their comfort is more important than yours and they rely on your good manners to get their own way. I really feel for you as its awkward and horrible to feel you are being held hostage in your own home

If you send that clear message and she asks 'when is a good time?' just say not at all at present as you are establishing yours and your baby's routine. If she persists you will have to get tough and say you'd rather she didn't call at all as you find it disruptive.

Just say “please don’t knock here again” and close the door.

I doubt once she sees how you really feel she will want to talk to you

“It’s a bit unpredictable at the moment, we’re trying to establish a routine with the baby so I don’t really have a good time to have visitors”

”To be honest I’m finding it a bit much how often people are coming around unannounced. It’s not helping me settle the baby and I could do with some days without any callers”

This sounds like such a difficult situation for you. My MIL was like this after I had my child and it drive me crazy. I allowed it at first as I thought it was the right thing to do and be polite but it became such a nuisance and I got to the point I felt harassed and stalked. I was never able to just say “ you are being really intrusive calling all the time and I would like you to give me some space” as I was really like you - seething on the inside and ducking and diving her and not answering the door.
If I could go back in time I would do what other posters are suggesting which is to communicate clearly that you would prefer her not to call round anymore uninvited as you are finding it very overwhelming.

“Really busy and baby is asleep” in a whisper , then say goodbye and shut the door. And repeat.

Strengthen your boundaries. Neighbour is an energy vampire. They know it’s difficult for you to say No.