Do couples usually plan for pregnancy or just let it happen?

[WinterContigency]

We’re both in our early 30s, in a long-term relationship, and lately it feels like everyone around us—best friends, relatives, coworkers—is announcing pregnancies(!)

We’re in a pretty good place financially (good paying steady jobs , remote as well), recently bought our first house, and live in a community full of kids and parents who basically look after all of them. The only thing holding us back right now is that we’d like to travel a bit more before starting a family but I wonder if then we will want to travel more and more and hit the..biological deadline.

It got me wondering: for most couples, is having a baby usually a deliberate, planned decision where you actively time things, or is it more about deciding to stop using contraception and seeing what happens over time?

Did you and your partner sit down, talk it through, and pick the “right time”? Or did you simply agree you were ready and let nature take its course?

Did you and your partner sit down, talk it through, and pick the “right time”? Or did you simply agree you were ready and let nature take its course?

Aren't these pretty much the same thing though?

I mean, you can't guarantee that you will get pregnant when you want. You can be lucky and conceive first time or not. But you can't plan to the extent that you decide you'll get pregnant in January.

You can only decide that you're ready, stop preventing a pregnancy and then let nature take its course