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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He’s tried to catch me cheating

36 replies

Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 19:38

Long term partner. Father of children.

back story - over a month ago I received a message from some one on ticktok asking questions about the gym videos I had made. I was polite but non emotive in reply. Over the month I have had a few more “when’s the next video” etc mostly I didn’t reply

then they changed. They told me they knew me and we had had a past. Shared a kiss. They wanted to do it again. They suggested booking a local hotel etc. I replied saying not interested im going to block you, that I felt scared they knew where I lived but wouldn’t share who they were (plus I felt crazy I had no idea who I had apparently shared this amazing kiss with)

it felt all too wrong and odd I don’t have people messaging me like this ever. Then it dawned on me and my intuition took over. DP is WFH. I stood at the door of his office and watched the pattern of “typing” when he had his phone in his hand etc.

I wrote in the chat “turn round” and he did.

first he’s said he was bored - now he’s saying it’s insecurity.

wwyd?

OP posts:
Kosenrufugirl · 11/08/2025 19:41

This is cruel mind games. I would be furious beyond measure. Is he often so unkind? He needs counselling

sameshizz · 11/08/2025 19:44

How childish
is he usually this immature?

nc43214321 · 11/08/2025 19:44

Wow 😮

Waterbaby41 · 11/08/2025 19:45

Don't usually say this but LTB - now!

TidyDancer · 11/08/2025 19:48

This is disgusting behaviour. It’s LTB territory for me.

Beachtastic · 11/08/2025 19:50

He's a lunatic, sorry OP.

It's like that bit in The Shining where Jack Nicholson's wife realises he hasn't been writing a book, but just typing the same sentence over and over.

Run as fast as you can!

Kosenrufugirl · 11/08/2025 19:50

What is LTB?

Beachtastic · 11/08/2025 19:51

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" 🤡

Beachtastic · 11/08/2025 19:51

Kosenrufugirl · 11/08/2025 19:50

What is LTB?

In MN-speak, it means "Leave the bastard"

Fitzcarraldo353 · 11/08/2025 19:55

WTF? No one does that because they're bored and his insecurity is his fucking problem. That's beyond weird behaviour and really offensive. I would be furious and definitely in LTB territory.

Why does he think he can't trust you and why play these games? Dickhead.

mumofsixfluffs · 11/08/2025 19:57

Does he have a guilty conscience and projecting it in you. Has he had the opportunity to cheat on you?

DiscoBob · 11/08/2025 19:58

This is bizarre and abusive. He's pranking/cat fishing/harassing you from fake identities?!

Absolute arsehole. I'd be leaving him. It's not normal adult behaviour.

Tontostitis · 11/08/2025 20:02

I felt scared
I felt crazy

Your partner made you feel scared, crazy not safe, loved, gorgeous. Is that what you want from a partner. He's showin you who he is.

MysticalPombear · 11/08/2025 20:02

Dhis is really abusive op. Its sick in the head

Vaxtable · 11/08/2025 20:12

I would leave he’s abusive

wizzywig · 11/08/2025 20:15

Oh man, he's unhinged

Mercurysinretrograde · 11/08/2025 20:21

This is full on creepy behavior. You will be looking over your shoulder all the time now. I’d leave. He can’t come back from this.

ThePure · 11/08/2025 20:25

https://www.cambs.police.uk/news/cambridgeshire/news/2024/november/24-hours-victim-he-was-cleverer-than-i-thought/

puts me in mind of this episode of 24h in police custody where the guy was pretending to be a victim and sending the messages himself

Run run as fast as you can.

Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 20:41

I’m just aghast that the person you’re meant to trust - would try and catch you out in such a ridiculous manner.

I have never been or given him reason to think I have been, unfaithful to him - which he knows.

i told him to pack his stuff and go to give me some space but I feel gutted.

OP posts:
AlertEagle · 11/08/2025 20:50

My ex did this to me but he was the one cheating, im not suffering your partner is maybe hes jealous that men could be looking at your videos.

wizzywig · 11/08/2025 20:51

Check your phone and devices for any apps you don't recognise

TheAvidWriter · 11/08/2025 21:02

Firstly he sounds massively insecure, and secondly this is a massive red flag behavior. And projective, he is probably fully aware how easy it is to send messages of this type to then take it someplace sexual. If he is doing it to you, who else is he doing this to? Because you are not the first. And yeah I realise how paranoid that sounds, but its normally the pattern.

Dabberlocks · 11/08/2025 21:16

@Longtimeposter You asked him to pack his bags - has he left yet?

He is dipping his toe into serious stalker / harassment territory already. You are absolutely right to be really concerned about this.

MysticalPombear · 11/08/2025 21:21

ThePure · 11/08/2025 20:25

https://www.cambs.police.uk/news/cambridgeshire/news/2024/november/24-hours-victim-he-was-cleverer-than-i-thought/

puts me in mind of this episode of 24h in police custody where the guy was pretending to be a victim and sending the messages himself

Run run as fast as you can.

That episode was bonkers!

MysticalPombear · 11/08/2025 21:22

Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 20:41

I’m just aghast that the person you’re meant to trust - would try and catch you out in such a ridiculous manner.

I have never been or given him reason to think I have been, unfaithful to him - which he knows.

i told him to pack his stuff and go to give me some space but I feel gutted.

Well done op... hard yo do but proud of you. Please tell a friend for your safety.