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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He’s tried to catch me cheating

36 replies

Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 19:38

Long term partner. Father of children.

back story - over a month ago I received a message from some one on ticktok asking questions about the gym videos I had made. I was polite but non emotive in reply. Over the month I have had a few more “when’s the next video” etc mostly I didn’t reply

then they changed. They told me they knew me and we had had a past. Shared a kiss. They wanted to do it again. They suggested booking a local hotel etc. I replied saying not interested im going to block you, that I felt scared they knew where I lived but wouldn’t share who they were (plus I felt crazy I had no idea who I had apparently shared this amazing kiss with)

it felt all too wrong and odd I don’t have people messaging me like this ever. Then it dawned on me and my intuition took over. DP is WFH. I stood at the door of his office and watched the pattern of “typing” when he had his phone in his hand etc.

I wrote in the chat “turn round” and he did.

first he’s said he was bored - now he’s saying it’s insecurity.

wwyd?

OP posts:
Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 21:27

Dabberlocks · 11/08/2025 21:16

@Longtimeposter You asked him to pack his bags - has he left yet?

He is dipping his toe into serious stalker / harassment territory already. You are absolutely right to be really concerned about this.

Yeah he’s gone.

it’s a mess. I’m now sat working now the children are fast asleep - happy summer holidays 🙄

OP posts:
EveryOtherNameTaken · 11/08/2025 21:46

Wow.

Dabberlocks · 11/08/2025 22:03

Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 21:27

Yeah he’s gone.

it’s a mess. I’m now sat working now the children are fast asleep - happy summer holidays 🙄

He's gone. Good. I assume he doesn't have a key. Hopefully he can't track your whereabouts on his phone... can he?

wizzywig · 11/08/2025 22:10

That's good right?

Longtimeposter · 11/08/2025 22:14

Dabberlocks · 11/08/2025 22:03

He's gone. Good. I assume he doesn't have a key. Hopefully he can't track your whereabouts on his phone... can he?

he’s got a key - it’s our house

OP posts:
charlieandthechocolatfactory · 11/08/2025 22:17

Fucking hell
run
hes abusive

labamba18 · 12/08/2025 06:54

I’m so sorry OP. You did the right thing and were amazingly strong. I’d suggest the first place he goes to is therapy.

altmember · 12/08/2025 10:26

Obviously what he's done is quite wrong. What are these gym videos that are making him feel insecure?

Longtimeposter · 12/08/2025 11:03

altmember · 12/08/2025 10:26

Obviously what he's done is quite wrong. What are these gym videos that are making him feel insecure?

Me working out - highly vain but he’s in one of them!

OP posts:
Kosenrufugirl · 14/08/2025 07:19

Longtimeposter · 12/08/2025 11:03

Me working out - highly vain but he’s in one of them!

This is still not the excuse to act the way he did.

He needs therapy for at least 2 reasons 1. To understand what makes him insecure in general 2. How to raise difficult conversations with his partner in a mature way.

Sending hugs.

AwayADay · 24/02/2026 08:06

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