I think I’ve been ghosted

[Bengal233]

Hello everyone. So as the titles says I think I’ve been ghosted…
I Have been seeing this man for the last 3 months, he lives about an hour from me and it has been very up and down, he goes through stages of ignoring me then when I messaged saying I’ve had enough he comes back with excuses saying “ I’ve been in hospital” or his “friend” has text me off his number saying he’s got his phone for work purposes as he’s in hospital etc he’s cancelled plans a few times saying things like he’s been poorly etc there are lots of niggles I’ve had with him over the last few months but I’m stupid and keep going back even though all my friends and sister have said to leave it as he is showing lots of red flags…
I saw him on Friday night, lovely evening messaging Saturday and Sunday morning. I messaged him Sunday afternoon and said give me a call later before I go away on holiday tomorrow, he read it and didn’t answer so I messaged again and or not with a laughing face again read it didn’t answer, so I messaged again and said “ I’m not doing this again. Don’t worry about calling. Speak soon” he messaged back saying “what the actual fuck!! I’ve been working and haven’t had my phone. I don’t need this. Have a good holiday”x
I messaged back and said if that’s what you want, then messaged again saying it’s not what I want, then again this morning saying let me know what is going on and are we leaving it or what because I want to know either way. All these messages have been left unread… I know I’ve made myself look desperate but I split up with my husband at Christmas because he cheated on me and I’d been with him since I was 19 and I’m 35 now so this whole world of dating is very very new and confusing to me.
what do I do now?
thanks for reading I know it’s a long rambling post x

You are prolonging a painful experience which you know is going to end with you being on your own.

It is going to be hard being on your own having been in a relationship since you were 19. But it won’t be as hard as what you are doing now.

And it will start getting easier fairly quickly. Your self esteem and resilience will increase week by week but by continuing with this, something you know is harmful, you are sabotaging yourself.

1. OP he isn’t worth it- no more messaging, block and delete
2. Therapy for you- restore your self esteem and confidence. You need to find your peace.
3. Try to see the full picture- life will only get better. Let go people who don’t deserve you.

He is playing games with you. He’s not a serious person. So many 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

seriously op, block & run.

He’s obviously seeing other people too and keeping you on the back burner, seeing how badly he can treat you and have you keep coming back for more. It’s unhealthy he clearly doesn’t really like or respect you.

Everyone has already said what I would have said, but one more thing - don't be tempted to send any more messages - not a single one. Whether it's 'ok bye' or 'I don't know what I've been doing, I've realised now how badly you've been treating me etc etc'. Just leave it as it is, block, move on, and take some time to look after yourself and regroup. Good luck!

He’s playing games with you. He’s not that into you and has no respect for you. That will never change, no matter what you do. It’s him that’s the problem. Him saying nice things to you is fake, manipulative and love bombing. You deserve WAY better. Delete. Block now and move on

He’s dangling the carrot when it suits and enjoying playing with you when you bite. He’ll be laughing at you behind your back. Don’t let him have his fun, he sounds like a moron to still be acting like this at, what, 42 years old?! You’re worth more than that.
Just another voice saying block and delete!

Put the phone in your safe/suitcase/give to a friend delete his number and all messages and phone log and forget him. Now Enjoy your holiday

A little update for you all…
so he read my messages and didn’t answer them, however I posted a pic on my WhatsApp story and he “loved it” if that’s not playing more games I don’t know what is! Since this though I have blocked and deleted his number and any trace of him off my phone.
I feel shit and I feel used but I know the feeling will pass in time. I’m not begging him to see me, I’m worth so much more than that and I will not to be made to feel less.
thank you for all the supportive messages, I couldn’t let it carry on going like this. I need to heal properly and a new relationship will happen at the right time which clearly isn’t now. X

You need to be single and work on yourself.

This man has no respect for you and is giving you every excuse under the sun for treating you like dirt.

If someone wants to bother with you and make the effort they will, it doesn’t need to be forced.

Ditch him and focus on yourself.

@rubicustellitall do you get a kick out of being unkind? Obviously you weren’t taught if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. The perfect example of a keyboard warrior right there.

Give this one a miss. Its too early. Look after yourself and relish the time and space on your own for a while. When you do get into another potential relationship, sit back and let him do the texting. In spite of feminism, men still have neanderthal brains and won't respond well if you chase them. Let them do the work initially.🍷

Hurrah! He is blocked and deleted - well done.

Realistically, in the absolute best case scenario, this man who is 42/43 is hospitalised for several different things, is so unwell he can’t reply to messages and gives his mobile to a friend. You are too young to be in a relationship with someone who is clearly an invalid.

In the worst case scenario, this is a load of nonsense and he is leading you a merry dance. You are too old to be in a relationship with someone who is clearly a bullshitter.

Well done@Bengal233

It’s disappointing, but unfortunately there are a lot of assholes like this around.

It might hurt atm but you’ll look back in a few weeks and be really proud of yourself for not putting up with his shitty behaviour.

Well done on blocking him. I'm really sorry that you've had a bad time with your ex and then with this loser.
Good advice to you here on the thread. Some of it is tough talking, but you know that everyone wants to see you coming through the bad times and gaining in confidence.
Don't settle for crumbs, you deserve to be treated with love and respect. It may take some time but you will get there.

@Bengal233 I’m so pleased for you putting yourself first. Now time to look after yourself and enjoy all the positives being single can bring to your life. You’ll be amazed how good you’ll feel in a few months time. Take care of yourself, see friends & family & learn it’s ok to be alone sometimes then you'll find you’ll be ready to meet someone on your terms.