Would you let the person you're dating sleep over?

[Gotnosleep]

I have a toddler who is in bed asleep by 7/7:30 and sleeps through til 7/8am. Would you allow the person you've been seeing to come over in the evening when they're in bed?

Would you allow him to sleep over?

We've been on about 8 dates and he's slept over while my child hasn't been home and I've slept over at his.

Just want opinions

No, I don’t. Kids are teenagers though.

No i wouldnt. That's my toddlers safe space. No way is a man i barely know staying over while my toddler is asleep in bed.

If my child was older and knew what was going on, I probably wouldn't consider it. But they are 2 and really would have no clue at all!

No, I wouldn’t.

You've only been on eight dates. You still don't know this person. When it's been eight months maybe. When it's a more serious relationship. If it ends up a more serious relationship.

I think it's a no to sleeping over. What about spending the evening together and him going home at bed time? Opinions on that?

No not after 8 dates.

Your child is completely vulnerable in bed asleep. The fact they are 2, not even fully verbal there is zero chance I would allow a stranger stay over.

To be honest you barely know this person.

No. What is it with this guy after eight dates, you want him in your toddler's home. You don't know this guy.

No, I wouldn't after 8 dates.

No.

I wouldn’t have a man in my house with my child who I’d only met 8 times, no. Not even for 2 hours for a Netflix and chill.

No way, I wouldn't invite to my house with my toddler a strange man I've only met 8 times. Completely unreasonable.

By all means date, go out but don't put him inside your home. If after only 8 dates he is spending long time at your house, are you actually going out on dates? Or just dinner at home? Is he cheap? Can you both afford to go out?

To soon to be doing "dinner dates" at home though specially for your kid.

Absolutely no way would I bring a man into my home with my child there after I’d only met him 8 times.

No and no to your second question.

The question isn’t about staying the night it’s about potentially meeting. And 8 dates is way too soon.

I introduced my teenagers to my new partner after 9 months. He stayed the night at my house after almost 1 year.

What if your child wakes up?

You'll be dealing with her/him while he's snooping around your living room. Ugh.

No to both! 8 dates? He’s a stranger!

Absolutely not. You don’t know this man. Your child’s safety comes first.

No. It’s not even just about your toddler being asleep and not realising, you don’t know this man! You have met his 8 times, if you met him once a week that’s two months. People have been married for 20+ years and don’t realise their partner is a dirty pedo, what makes you think you can make this judgement after 8 dates? For the love of god keep your child safe!

I'm with someone the last 4 years, he's not even met my children

I think it a bit soon with your child in the house OP. You’re allowed a boyfriend but I wouldn’t bring them back for a long time when he’s home.

I'm quite surprised by everyone's reactions tbh. I used to do this when my kids were younger. Only when I could basically verify the guy and things were looking positive going forwards and after a similar number of dates to you around 8 or so. I had no childcare in place, couldn't afford a babysitter and the kids were with me 100% of the time. I know it's not optimal but it worked out fine, the kids never woke up and if they had then I'd have dealt with them upstairs whilst boyfriend stayed downstairs, was not an issue. If they've demonstrated any red flags then I wouldn't have invited them over.

Absolutely not! 8 dates no way

I’d be surprised if he was up for this tbh. I can’t think of anything less sexy than knowing somebody’s random kid was in the next room during sex, or being constantly aware of the chance they’d wake up during and come into the room. I’d drop a new date like a hot potato if they even suggested it. You need nighttime childcare if you’re doing nighttime dates.

You’re joking right? Plenty of men up for this and one of the reasons why they target single mums as easy can just go over when the kids in bed and leave in the morning not have to spend any money or make any effort.