Dating, are looks or personality more important?

[Robinoaks]

So ladies. I'm dating and I'm torn!
I've had dates with some men who I've found very attractive and had good chemistry with but it hasn't worked out. For me now, good looking means they are either a player or I'm not good enough for them.
I've now met a lovely guy who absolutely isn't my type at all, quite the opposite really. It was a case that we got talking loads online, I liked him alot, we had loads in common, we seem like such a good match and personality wise we really are but when I met him in person I'm struggling with the attraction. There are things I like about him physically but also stuff that I really don't, I feel quite awkward with him when we go out in public, I really can't put my finger on what feels off. We've had about 4 dates but nothing more yet. We have kissed and it felt lovely. I'm so confused!

He is really keen, really wants to make a go of things and I feel like I'm unsure about what to do.
Do I give it time and the attraction will grow or let it go and have a dating break?

Yes I agree. It’s never as black and white as personality or looks, it’s that blend of many things you like about someone - the secret recipe. If you’re not feeling it after four dates then I am not sure that this will ever change.

Personality! But - you’ve got to fancy each other. Doesn’t need to be the hottest on the block but if you can’t be enthusiastic about the idea of sex with him, it’s not going to work.

Think you’re looking from (slightly) the wrong angle? Money, looks should be about a minimum level you need - not something you need to max out on! It’s the other stuff that’ll make it work, or not…
(speaking as a biased non yacht owner 😂)

Looks for the short term, personality (and wealth) for long term. Looks and lust fade over time. If you get together only for looks/lust, then you're going to potentially struggle in years to come when that's behind you.

You ‘can’t stand people’ 🫤
that’s a strong reaction.

there is a massive difference between going for personality more than looks and dating someone you get on with but with whom you have absolutely no attraction to

I could never have dated anyone I didn’t find myself attracted to no matter how nice they were. It wasn’t mutually exclusive. I dated people I got on with and was physically attracted to

It's both.

I'd say that personality is more important, as it's not going to get as far as a second date if I'm bored stiff by the end of the first, but equally, it's also not got any legs if you're not actively wanting to sleep with them.