Partners debt…what to do

[DeeDee20]

Hello.
i have a mortgage with my partner and toddler son. Working part time, not married.
i knew my partner was in debt as over the past 5 years he’s managed to buy 2 big cars when he earns a standard wage. I estimate 50k in debt.
over the last few months Im having to step up more with money and can see he’s struggling. It came to a head last night when he admitted it. He wants to use the equity on the house to pay it off. There’s approx £110k equity.
we have a joint mortgage and he put 100% of the deposit down which was half the house. He says he wants to use that money to pay his debt.
Can the debt just be paid off through the house? I’m clueless sorry

He did but chose not to protect given property held as joint tenants. Perhaps the solution is a remortgage and declaration of trust which reflects both partner's higher initial deposit & the fact he is taking out 50k now?

Just to be clear;

Did he fund the deposit which was 50% of the house?

The mortgage is for the other half?

Are you joint tenants? Is there a defined % split as tenants in common?

Go together to your accountant and make firm plans to sort out your finances.
Prioritise owning your house and creating wealth while you are young and actively working.
Make long term plans and agree to a budget.

I think the deposit money is a red herring. If he had ring fenced it and you divorced him then it would affect the split of assets. But if you don’t divorce the difference is only notional. And even if you do divorce, if he did not ring fence it, you are morally and legally entitled to take half the equity During the course of the marriage lots of things can affect income and work patterns but the marriage and its badic structure don’t allow ring fencing or bet hedging for those things. His deposit is no different.

I would tell him there will be no remortgage or equity draw down. Frankly: I would end the marriage, sell the house, and walk away. As there are children in the mix I would ask for a greater share of the equity to orotect them. I wouldn’t get it—but I would ask. He is going to slways be in massive debt (stupid debt as well) do he will simply default on the children. I would say that, frankly, during negotiations over the house snd try to get him to give me more upfront in exchange for a CMS which will never be paid.

"Frankly: I would end the marriage, sell the house, and walk away."

Poor advice from someone who hasn't read the OP who clearly stated in her very first paragraph: they are not married......

Sell the cars

Buy one cheaper car

Do not use your property in exchange for a car, that would be madness !

Do not estimate the debt

Clarify the exact amount of debt

Then seek help

https://www.gov.uk/options-for-dealing-with-your-debts

Solicitor. Id honestly be seriously considering getting him out and ending your relationship. Have no doubt he will do this again and again

Unless he stops spending beyond your means paying it off now will only kick the problem down the line and make your mortgage an issue.

What money he wants to use, the one he doesn't have?
How much is his debt? Just 50k or more?
I would do nothing unless he comes very clear and even with that I would have to check.

I’d be very reluctant to do this. It’s your money too! What if he burns through another 50k and you have no more equity to save him?!

You need to get your own legal advice.

Are you happy with the relationship? You don’t have to stay with him if he’s dragging you down financially.

Time for him to sell the car/s, get a modest runaround and start chipping away at his debt and it is his debt, not yours.

Worth running a credit check to see if there is anything else he has not disclosed to you.

Do not get married or sign anything without scrutiny and/or professional advice. Under no circumstances consider remortgaging to release equity.

Did you have an agreement drawn up re the deposit when you bought the property.

If he paid the entire deposit and he only wants to take out the value of the deposit then I think that’s fair. Technically you aren’t losing any of your investment.

As I understand it, it’s not her money because he paid the whole deposit on his own

I am worried there is more debt. Do not put it into the house.

How much deposit did he put in? Him taking out an additional mortgage equal to that amount would be fair enough as you then have equal equity in terms of what you put in (nothing in your case) if he wants to take out more than that amount I would say it is unfair

With kindness and respect you need to wise up fast.

If you are joint tenants then whatever equity is in the house is legally half yours. If he failed to protect his deposit then that is his problem (legally).

See a solicitor and do not sign anything until you have taken legal advice.

This man is a liability and he is putting your future security at risk. Moving unsecured to secured debt is extremely stupid and why would you put your home at risk?

He needs to sell the cars and figure out how he is going to solve this on his own.

I also advise you to run credit reports on both your names as it is possible he's got more debt than he is telling you or worse, he's fraudulently taken out debt in your name.

Best thing you can do now is sell the house, take your half and run for the hills. Seriously.

So in rough terms - if he provided £100k deposit for a £200k house, it’s now gone up in value by about £10k and you’ve got a £100k mortgage.
If he wants his deposit back by remortgaging, your mortgage and mortgage repayments will double.
In one way it’s a reasonable ask, and the mortgage interest will be low - but it’s a worrying sign. Will this credit ‘headroom’ just give him carte blanche to carry on spending recklessly? It does sort of give him a ‘get out of jail free’ card that means he can carry on with no behaviour change, higher outgoings for you both and less security. Hmmmm

No way.

Whose house is it? Sounds like the relationship is dead so I'd just end it, sort out your finances, and he can pay his debts from his half. What a man-child, spending money he doesn't have on cars.

Why didn't you pay half the deposit also OP? This sounds terrible. How much does your partner earn? Does he show you bank statements?

What exactly is he spending on? No I would not agree to his proposal!

Yikes.

You need legal advice OP. Go and see a solicitor.

If my husband did this I'd be leaving him. I'd buy him out and wave him off.

Also, if you don't leave he's going to run up more debt. He'll move the goalposts. He'll take his money out of the house, pay off his debts, run up more debt and then claim your half is his too. RUN!

@FeedingPidgeons
Best thing you can do now is sell the house, take your half and run for the hills. Seriously.

Sorry but this doesn’t sound realistic - why would he agree to sell and then walk away - after his debts are paid - with nothing? I wouldn’t.

She can force the sale if she wants to, its easier if he agrees but ultimately it can be forced. And if he's desperate to pay off debts he might agree to it.

Clearly a big shiny penis extension is more important to him than a roof over his head, this isn't a guy who makes good decisions.

If it were a woman who had put in the full deposit, everyone would be saying that it was her money, and she was a mug for doing so as he must be a free loader.

Don't do anything until you get legal advice. What is he doing to address the overspending? There's no way id agree to add unsecured debt to a home and risk the roof over you and your child's head. If he doesn't address the overspending now you will be in the same situation in another few years on repeat