Silent treatment or is he just processing...

[Mondaybluez]

Name changed for this as may be outing

Got back with my boyfriend of over a year after 2 months apart in May/June this year - we split due to arguments caused by his rubbish communication and lack of communication.

Got back together both agreed to communicate better - even though he said my communication wasnt and isn't a problem - Saturday I was feeling a little annoyed with him as I feel it's always me planning and organising when we see each other next etc we live separately and about an hours drive apart...I have dcs he has none... but told him I felt upset about something but not in the right headspace to speak about it yet and just see how it planned out (for context he was off Saturday not working) and I wanted to see if he tried to arrange to see me. He didn't. So on sat evening when my dd went to bed I explained I feel it's always me arranging when we see each other and he doesn't ever try to see me or suggest it,, I explained that I let it play out that day and didn't suggest he came over that day because it doesn't feel like he genuinely wants to see me when it's always me asking and he got extremely angry with me, said I didn't communicate with him, even though I told him I wasn't in the right headspace and wanted to let it play out, and has now said he's too angry to speak to me - he basically ignored me all Saturday evening, Sunday and still nothing from him - in the past him going silent has been a problem that he promised he wouldn't do.

Feel like I expressed feelings, he got pissed off and now I'm getting the silent treatment? Am I in the wrong?

I disagree with other posters, sorry OP. I think that you set him up. first of all telling someone that you’re upset with them but then refusing to talk to them until you’re ready is manipulative. He was already probably walking on eggshells thinking oh my God, what have I done now. Then you framed it as though as all his fault, even though he will not have been aware that this that was upsetting to you. Framing your needs in a completely different way would’ve perhaps resulted in a better response. Saying something like one thing I’ve realised is that I feel like I am the one who usually has to arrange plans for us to be together. This makes me feel like you don’t want to see me, which makes me upset. And then just see what he says in response. Instead of allowing him the space and time to process what you’re saying, you’ve made him feel like sht. You say he has terrible communication skills but you’re not giving him a chance to communicate before jumping down his neck with accusations of not caring about you.