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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Are you happy in your marriage if you’re late 50’s/60’s

53 replies

Iyda · 26/07/2025 17:50

Just as the title says really. If you’re still in the same marriage are you happy? Or are you comfortable but missing something? Or are you thinking you’ve still got time ahead of you to make a change?

I read somewhere that “grey divorce” is on the rise, as life expectancy and indeed, people’s expectations rise. Whereas perhaps 20, even 10 years ago people may have just “stuck it out,” now 60 is the new 50, or perhaps a bit younger.

With adult kids having (mostly) left the nest, some couples realise they don’t really get on anymore and decide to seek their freedom/embark on new relationships and life experiences with time still ahead of them to do what they want and have a new lease of life. I do think society is less judgemental now about people divorcing in later life and 60 is still young! You could have another 25/35 years ahead of you.

The other interesting thing is that I think men age mentally at this time in their lives quicker than women - they become entrenched, less socially inclined, more stubborn, less willing to explore possibilities and open themselves up to new experiences. The woman may find herself with someone who she can’t grow with anymore, who doesn’t really want to do all the things beyond the life they already have. Of course this isn’t true of everyone.

OP posts:
Netrandom · 27/07/2025 22:35

Eric1964 · 26/07/2025 18:32

@Iyda The other interesting thing is that I think men age mentally at this time in their lives quicker than women - they become entrenched, less socially inclined, more stubborn, less willing to explore possibilities and open themselves up to new experiences.

Do you have any evidence for this, beyond the anecdotal?

It’s just a variation of the usual women good, men bad trope so beloved of mumsnet.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 27/07/2025 23:18

I think the 50-60s period can be quite trying within a marriage.

Mortgage payments still big, kids still expensive, parents infirm/dying/dead. All this and being absoloutely knackered because you're both still working. Add that to middle-age infirmities messing with your brains, looks, joints and sex drive and it's not really the best time for couples.

I'm gritting my teeth and riding it out. I am determined that we will become one of those smug retired couples on the ferry to France.

Aweekoffwork · 28/07/2025 08:14

A lovely positive thread
Both early 60’s here..had a miserable time with my husband around the age of 50-55: he’d let me down badly and there had to be a process of forgiveness. I questioned whether I should be married to someone I hated so much ! 😳 It took a few years of working at it and I’m pleased we didn’t divorce.

Two adult children still living at home..we have a great family life

Fortunately we’re both fit and well and work full-time in physical jobs. We’re comfortable financially and enjoy our own leisure pursuits. Don’t think there is anything I would change 🥰

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