I’ve finally woken up to the fact that I need to leave my husband. I’ve had multiple instances of cheating on nights out or business trips, often at times when I needed him most…weeks after childbirth and after marriage. I always tried to work through it but time I grew a little stronger through therapy and said that if he didn’t do the work, I was gone, he showed up to 4 therapy sessions and shared location with me etc but it felt like a tick box exercise. He soon pulled out of therapy as he said he didn’t need it. He continued to heavily drink, be disrespectful and made mr question my own sanity. A day out with him and the kids is an egg shell type event, which person will we get. The recent discovery was the messaging of escorts. He lied until I discovered more and even told me I needed therapy to get over my distrust and control issues. I agreed that I needed to let it go…and then I found the evidence. No evidence of him actually using one but the message to say he was outside…he said he never went in and the money was still in his wallet.
After that I stepped back and observed his actions rather than words. He would start arguments to go to the pub and dislikes many people I know and criticises them. This is the tip of the iceberg to be fair and there have been lots of things happen that I just don’t understand/can’t comprehend why, we have a lovely home and beautiful children and all the components for a lovely life,
Anyway tonight, as he is due to leave our home soon, he starts to say I’ve been stealing from him and he wanted to see all the accounts. He is analysing every purchase and saying he never agreed to it. (He did). I’ve asked him many times to manage and be involved in the finances and he always declined to have any involvement so I sort all the bills etc. I booked a girls holiday a while back (agreed by him) and he is now saying I owe it all back. It’s like he has flip reversed the script and forgot that the reason we are splitting is because he has lied and cheated his way through the relationship, He is now talking of withdrawing all the money from our account even though he left himself with 1k free spends. My head is fried and not sure what to do here.