Tonight, after my wife told me that I wasn't supporting her and that our relationship was at breaking point, my 5 year old, who was sitting next to her, said 'yes you are a bad dad and you don't help mummy'. I had to get out of the house and am typing this at my office, I was so upset hearing the words coming out of my childs mouth.
Backdrop: We have 2 children. 5 and 1. For the last year I have been through the ringer health wise, have had 1 minor surgery and awaiting another. I have been on morphine for most of the last 9 months including now, and desperately trying to hold together my small business (its just me and I am the sole breadwinner), whilst only being able to work limited hours much of the time due with school drop off and pick up dictating my work day, which is putting additional pressure on my businesses function and ability to survive.
At home I get the 5 year old up in the morning, organised, fed and to school and back, but with my current condition, my ADHD, medication and severe pain most of the time, admittedly I'm not much more of an ornament at home currently and do little else. I'm so tired from work while being in pain and on morphine, it often means I take an hours nap when I get home, becuase I'm just dizzy/in pain/and tired. I'm guilty of being absent whilst being at home, my ADHD means I ignore my wife without knowing it, and my medication has made this much worse.
My wife is taking care of the children woithout any support, and with me not providing support at home (after I provided considerable support for our first child), my wife is understandable tired, frustrated, and at wits end of not being able to sit down all day, and then seeing me sit down all the time when I'm home.
I want to help. I want to support her more. But physically I'm in pain. Mentally I'm thinking about work most of the time when home, as if the business doesn't survive then as a family we are in bigger trouble. I need an action plan. Help?