We all went on the holiday, but he ignored my birthday beforehand and never responded to my questions about how the trip was going to work in the weeks leading up . He stayed silent until the day before departure—only then did he ask if I wanted the taxi to pick me up after him. I made my own way there, and I’ll be making my own way home too .
From the airport to the plane, it was painfully awkward. He didn’t ask how I’d been or even try to make small talk. He was cold and completely avoidant. One night, he finally opened up slightly and said he didn’t want to be with anyone right now due to the financial issues he realised , the consent order not being sorted and he couldn’t address ( for whatever excuse he was using ) and a now an internal job change—basically, a lot of vague excuses. I asked again if there was someone else, especially after the “I’m on call but turned into a works night out ” location was mysteriously shut off. He said no, insisted he wanted to be alone and with no one , and admitted he should’ve cancelled the holiday. That hit me like a rock.
I told him I’d given him space - he was sharp and said yeh but you didn’t did you ? I said I disagree I only reached out twice and that was about the impending holiday and to check on him as at one point I thought he was having some sort of breakdown , I was taken aback by his attitude and then said I told you it was over ( he didn’t I swear he made noises but said he needed to work on himself hence I posted on here ?! ) - he still kept me hooked I felt so stupid and so I said there was clearly there was nothing left between us and I asked him to take me off his social media because the signals he was giving were confusing and hurtful for me . He did. I stayed polite and amicable for the sake of the kids for the next two days but inside I was heartbroken. Again He said that he protects people as he is hurting people me and his friends and so it’s for the best he is alone.
Two nights later, he left his phone face-up on the table while I was cutting the kids’ food. I saw two messages from a woman flash up —her name jumped out at me. I checked his Facebook , another single mum from his work … I knew instantly that this was the real reason why he’d gone stone cold. I confronted him and asked for honesty. He claimed they were just commenting on the buffet food?! I laid out all the observations I’d been holding in and told him I knew he was lying, He got really defensive and angry, refused to show me the messages when I called his bluff , and still didn’t offer any real explanation and I said no wonder the location went off on the works night out ! .
I left the situation so emotional unfortunately , I asked if he ever loved me , and I got a hollow yes and said he had to finish it because of his problems - I said well talking to another women is cheating , the lies have become apparent over a number of weeks and I didn’t believe him and that was it.
At that point, it didn’t matter anymore. I’m done playing detective. I wonder if he is a “ dismissive avoidant “ that’s been suggested - but he can’t be trusted, and I’ve clearly been fooled for years like an idiot . He got bored but didn’t have the courage to end things properly all the future promises and big plans were just a smokescreen to get what he wanted ,
It’s been 48 hours since the true colours moment and I’m still so upset but decided I won’t be speaking to him again , as awkward as this is and I have avoided him since . I’m counting down the days until I can get on that plane and go home. I’m making sure the kids are having the best time possible, but he hasn’t tried to speak to me either . I know he will still be angry esp at the liar comment —probably because his charmer image has been shattered. Around the pool and at meals, it’s been nothing but blanking . It’s hell. The kids are still playing together a little but they know something’s wrong.
Any advice on how to hold this together ? When I get home I’ll be blocking him and I know I will never have anything to do with him again . Am so hurt . I am also feeling stupid to be having to go through something like this again . Erase all traces of him and start to heal I guess … Xx