Men who “just want to be friends” when you’re sleeping together

[WildflowerGardens]

I met a guy, who is single and in his forties, on a dating app in May this year. I am single and in my thirties.

we hit it off immediately, with a strong rapport and excellent chemistry. A few weeks later we were sleeping together every weekend, but he texted that he “felt our relationship is more as friends, to be honest”.

since then he has gone on first dates with other women, I suppose he tells me about this because we are “friends”. We no longer sleep together, but I do feel rather upset. I met him on a dating app, after all.

would you continue with this friendship? I don’t sleep with any other of my friends, of course. I asked him why he saw me as a friend and he said it’s because we got on so well from the start. Confused.

Sometimes, you try a relationship and it doesn’t work out. Maybe the “just see you as a friend” thing was a kind way of breaking up or genuinely wanting to stay friends but not wanting to pursue a romantic relationship anymore.

Just because you have sex doesn’t meant you can’t break up and want to stay friends because you should’ve known that from the start!

No I wouldn’t discuss it with him because I don’t see that as ending well.

I would just send a last text saying something like “ I’ve decided that pursuing a friendship with you isn’t the right thing for me, wishing you all the best but I don’t want any further contact”. Then I’d block him.

Do you get anything out of the friendship? He obviously enjoyed your company and your body.

If not don't bother with him. You can do a slow fade away you don't need an official break up.

Stay on good terms if he might be useful or interesting for you in the future.

He is a user. He is trying to devalue you. Have some respect for yourself, don’t waste your time on him.

You are being used, how can you not see this huge red flag?

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Stay on good terms if he might be useful or interesting for you in the future.
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Tbf I think that’s what he’s doing!

Bin.

Men like that only play nice to get them to sleep to them and then start chasing someone else while bread crumbing you.

Men are not always honest and if they put on their dating profile that they are only after something casual that would reduce their opportunities.

I'd just tell him you've got enough friends and not looking for any more - wish him well and cut him off!

You want a life partner.
He wants a free therapist he can shag and dump guilt free when he finds the next thing because he was "honest"

He's a disrespectful arsehole and would never be allowed in my home again.
Get better boundaries

since then he has gone on first dates with other women, I suppose he tells me about this because we are “friends”. We no longer sleep together, but I do feel rather upset. I met him on a dating app, after all.

Why are you upset because he is dating other women?
He's not in a relationship with you .

He's not your friend. He's a short-term 'fling' and he's been honest enough to say he only sees you now as a friend.

It's not clear who is maintaining the contact - you or him- but why torture yourself? He's made himself clear.

You've no hold over him and if you're hanging on in the hope he may change his mind, that's not doing you any good.

Edited - your subject line isn't what's happened.
You say you've stopped sleeping together. So which is it?