‘You are all I’ve got’ SHIT!!!!!!

[Skeletonheart]

Bit of back story.

Been together 4 years. 2 kids (not together but one each). He moved in to my house (biggest mistake ever!)

We have had a very up and down relationship. He has suffered with addiction and MH issues, as a result of living though this I suffered with MH issues too.

He is now sober and better. I am getting better, working though the things that happened etc His family have never liked me at all, initially no reason then they blamed me for a RELAPSE (I didn’t know he was an addict when we met!!!) they have been abusive towards me and my child and I cut contact with then 1.5 years ago. He remained in contact with them, although much less.

fast forward to now, the mother of his child is taking him back to court to amend the child arrangement order to give him less him that initially agreed in court. His family back her in this.

He has told me he won’t fight this in court and will accept less time with his child.(shocking!) He has also (spectacularly) disowned his family this week without telling me beforehand and now keeps on about how he has lost his family and child for me and I am all he has now, almost insinuating I should be grateful of this?!!!

Truth is, as I have rebuilt from this relationship I want to leave him. I want him gone. But I do feel guilty he has pinned everything on our (awful) relationship…but I don’t love him or really like him tbh HELP!!!!

In hindsight he has more red flags than a red flag shop.

but he was able to manipulate and explain away most of the different things.

but yeah I was an idiot. Love Bombed and easily manipulated. I see it differently now

What imapct do you think this home environment will have on her?

Fair enough but now you do know do something about it and get him out.
Ignore the guilt trips and do what is best for yourself and your child

OK you know he has to go, what is the “working on”? Have you not told him to leave already?

how long has he been living with you? Agree you can use the latest updates from him as a good argument he has to go. Remember if he says anything like “I’ve got nowhere to go” that is not your problem.

He just wants to live in your house.

You're not an idiot, there's loads of men out there like this but unfortunately we need to educate ourselves so we can stop picking awful people to be in our lives.

Urgh yet another thread with a woman who has failed, and is still failing, to put their child first.

This whole thing is me me me and but I'm working on it.

What exactly is there to work on?

Pack his shit, change the locks and leave it on the doorstep and don't look back. If you think he's going to be trouble ask the police to supervise you getting him out. They do that kind of thing.

Instead of feeling guilty for him, feel guilty for your child having to put up with this man (and if you think they don't know about some his issues, trust me they do). Oh and stop with the "But I didn't know he was an addict" you have known for a long time and done nothing. Do something now.

You might think I'm being harsh OP but it's long past the point you need to give your head a serious wobble.

I am more than happy to take the harsh.

for months I wanted him to change, to get better. That’s what kept me. Then he did but tbh it’s still more drama and I’m so done with it all. I don’t love him because of what he has done. That dried up months ago. He has really tried to ‘get better’ stayed sober. Working more etc

he is on the tenancy (another thing in hindsight I was guilted into) so it isn’t as easy as just kick him out sadly.

Why would your child 'of course be pleased'? I take it they don't get on?

If you're unhappy with him being there and your child is too then what's stopping you asking him to leave right away?

.
Tell him, no point putting it off. Mentally prepare yourself, if he cut people off, that’s his doing .

Firstly his ex leaving him did not tip him over an edge. It was an excuse he used to start drinking again.
What is your plan OP to get him out given he is now on your tenancy?

Same question here.

This poor kid 😔