Not sure what to make of this

[OneWiseBlueSheep]

I'm a bit worried about my husband, I said "oh I can't wait for X to get here (my niece) Everything is about to change!" She is due around xmas and we until this point have the only biological grandchildren to my parents.
He said nothing changes fundamentally in our lives
I said well, it does... Having a niece is a HUGE change, I asked him surely if your closer sister had a kid he would love that child so much
He said no I already have a nephew and I feel nothing. (He lives rather far away but still?!)
I said okay, well I will treasure my niece and you will need to get onboard here, as it could hurt my brother and sister in law, this kind of behaviour.
He replied "No I simply do not care, it does not bother me one bit."
He had a very, very rough childhood to be fair on my husband, but this worries me deeply.

”Life changing” is way OTT
“Excited for” - completely normal

Personally, I’d be a bit like your husband - there’s nothing more boring than other people’s kids 🥴

I love my nieces and nephews a lot…but can’t say that their ‘being here’ has been ‘life-changing’. Because it hasn’t! My life goes on as normal 🤷‍♀️

It’s always lovely to see them of course, but it can go for many, many months between events that we attend together (family events, special birthdays, the odd wedding, more recently several funerals!)

I don’t even think about them really ‘in between’.

Your husband is very normal in his take on it I think.

I get that you’re excited for your first niece but it won’t change your life!

Unless you’re living with that niece/nephew I truly do not understand how their existence is “life changing”.

My sister is an amazing auntie to my daughter but her being born certainly wasn’t life changing for her and nor would I expect it to be. I’d be very confused if she said it had been life changing for her!

I've just returned to this thread, I've got severe mh issues and I can react quite badly to things are seemingly not even remotely offensive, reflecting on this thread I was having a bit of an emotional time, I know my view on the world is not 'average' and my reactions to things are not 'average' so I was sense checking if my husband is being normal or if I'm being overinvested or something. If that makes any sense, then I got a lot of messages saying that people would find this weird and overbearing and I got very emotionally hurt by this, and noped out

life literally changes when children are born, so by definition a niece or nephew does change your life. Christmas looks different, my brother who never wanted kids is having a family, that IS big to me, (but you did not have that context) xox

OP, you are clearly very set on your views and despite many, many posters trying to offer their alternative views and opinions (based on their actual lived experience of having nieces and nephews), you can’t see anyway other than your way. Which is fine of course. We are all different.

I will leave you with one last thought. You are absolutely correct in that children being born is utterly life changing. For the very vast majority of people, however, this cataclysmic, ‘life changing’ event only occurs at the birth of their own child/children.

You could try to explore this further as part of your therapy, which you’ve referred to throughout this post. Truly, other people’s children will not (and should not!) ‘change your whole life’. That would be exhausting to deal with.

Enjoy your new and upcoming status as ‘aunt’ of course…that is a special moment and you sound like you will cherish it.