So this will be long. Me f(36) and my partner m(37) have been on and off for 17 years. We share 2 children. It's never been a fairytale, lots of history but we always end up coming back to each other.
This year was a fresh start. Or it was supposed to be. I found teleguard app on his phone which was weird. I went on it and there was a "gangbang" chat. It knocked me sick instantly. There was 100s of messages on there, pictures of a woman by her husband and videos of previous gangbangs (I'm not judging if that's how you want to live that's fine by me) there was messages saying when he gets enough people he will plan the date. My partner had put "great, sounds good" the guy asked him if he had ever done anything like this and he said "just once but only with the woman, the husband watched"
Obviously, I'm thinking what the hell. There was 16 men in this chat. The next day I checked again, more pictures, my partner had wrote "amazing a* and p*"
I noticed the main guy had wrote something about fab, so I got my fbi hat on.
That evening I asked him about it, he said "oh honesty all men have atuff like that, look I have 100s on fb, I just got added from one of the groups" I'm not massively bothered about silly fb groups with bits of porn in, I know men watch atuff like that. But he was making out like it was no big deal. I told him I thought he had a problem, he fell out with me and didn't speak for days and told me I had made him feel disgusting.
Going back to fabswingers, I searched for hours, as the pictures were blurred,I then realised I could verify myself and see the pictures, I did this, then searched the users I thought could be him, bang he came up straight away, I can't even tell you the feeling of hurt that rushed through me as I saw the man I adore and love stood there stark naked for the world to see. His profile said he was always horny, up for anything. Under "looking for" it said couples MM/ FM males females and tv/Ts basically every option that was on there. Same again for interests, everything under the sun from soft swing to DP (which I had to google) I was horrified. I then saw a review from a few months ago. It was from a couple who wrote "you won't be disappointed" bla Bla. I clicked on them and they had a review from him saying "super sexy, easy conversation"
I can't even tell you how heart broken I was about this. I spent a full week in my room, Ill, unable to eat, I became physically ill. It was horrible.
I then messaged him on fab , became a whole new person in the way I wrote and what I wanted ect. We spoke all day. We arranged to meet. I decided I would wait to confront him after the planned meet.
Then he disappeared off there, he hasn't come off but he hid his profile. Didn't go on for 4 days (I checked constantly) obviously no response from him about this meet... which I knew he couldn't do anyway. In the meantime I contacted the couple and said I was new and had arranged to meet this guy and they had reviewed him so I was just checking he was safe ect. They kindly replied and was very vague but did say that she knows he like toys and they spoke about anal. I couldn't get much more info out of them so I'm not sure if they did the deed or if they met and chatted.
So d day came and I confronted him. He has outright denied it (may I add 2 minutes after I confronted him, by text, he was online on fabswingers after not being on for 4 days) he says it is not him, he's never met anyone he's contacted fab to get his photos removed, he said I have always been honest and you know in the past I've been on sex sites (he's mentioned this in the past but I thought it was just porn, never once mentioned his bits were plastered all over there) he said someone else must be using his photos from then, he swore on our children's lives it is not true (this is something he will never ever do so it threw me) I was adamant it was him, and this little detail has rocked me. He's moved out, sworn it's not him. My head and heart is shattered. I don't even know what I'm on here to ask but please someone give me some help and advise.